coup de théâtre

I went to see Birdsong in the Comedy Playhouse last night.

("Comedy?" Prodnose).

The second and third acts were harrowing and masterly. I can't help but admire Trevor Nunn's technical skill in marshaling his resources on the stage, crass as it may seem to make that remark of a play about the trenches in the Great War.

While I'm on the subject of theatre visits, and for the sake of completeness I also recently saw Cyrano on the Moon at the Wimbledon Studio. It was balderdash.

hope in our hearts and wings on our heels.

There had been much dark muttering from a disappointed bomber over the last week or so when he found - after being convinced it was in the bag - that he hadn't been picked to represent Poplar at a six school cross country event that took place yesterday.

I also cancelled going along to watch, but come the day one of the three members of his year's team had to drop out and I'll be darned if Ben didn't take the spot as a substitute, grit his teeth and come home first out of a field of eighteen in the boys' year five race. (The school also won the whole event overall on points for the first time ever he told me.)

Cue wild celebrations (apple crumble) in Browne acres.

P.S. He also got four tries against London Scottish on the weekend.

Le Parapluie Uncassable

You have got to watch the video above. I was genuinely crying with laughter. What elevates it to the sublime I think, is the way that our hero looks utterly bored to death throughout, as well as the telling detail of his wordless opening and closing of the brolly before he belabours each consecutive prop.

The Unbreakable Umbrella works just as well as a walking stick or cane but does not make you look funny or feel awkward. Whacks just as strong as a steel pipe but it weighs only 1 lb. and 9 oz. (710 g). And yes, this umbrella resists the wind and will keep you dry in rain just like the best umbrella should. www.UnbreakableUmbrella.com

Ignorance is bliss

Wimbledon Bookfest is over for another year.

Yesterday I went to see Robert McCrum at an event in the extraordinary Southside House (of which I'd never previously heard) where Alex Munthe wrote the, by all accounts extraordinary, The Story of San Michele (of which I'd never previously heard).

Anyone for tens?

Today is the tenth of the tenth of the tenth and a big day for weddings.

At the Viva Las Vegas Wedding Chapel, the owner, Ron DeCar, has 150 ceremonies planned in five chapels, beginning at midnight. He has had to hire extra Elvis impersonators, he said, to bring the contingent to six.

There was a similar surge on July 7, 2007, and he is already planning for 11/11/11 and 12/12/12.

For those of a geeky bent, the date has another layer of importance — it is made up entirely of ones and zeros, the binary language of computing. Kevin Cheng and Coley Wopperer of San Francisco have been waiting nearly two years for their wedding date to roll around, having realized over dinner with friends in 2008 that, as one suggested, “you could have a binary-themed wedding!” he recalled.

“Both of our eyes just lit up,” he said.

“We’re very much technology people,” Mr. Cheng explained, as if it were necessary to point this out.

The dinner group quickly calculated the more familiar base-10 value of the binary number 101010, and found that it was 42. “That totally sealed the deal!” he recalled.

Footnote: For fans of Douglas Adams, author of the series of science fiction comedic novels beginning with “The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy,” the number 42 is instantly recognized as the punch line to one of literature’s most revered shaggy dog stories. In it, super-intelligent beings have created the most powerful computer ever to provide the “Answer to the Ultimate Question of Life, The Universe, and Everything.” The computer labors for 7.5 million years. Finally, it answers: “Forty-two.”

Which means, gentle reader, that Kevin Cheng and Coley Wopperer are truly meant for each other.

So for all the freaks and geeks jumping the broomstick today, I sincerely wish you wish you all the very best.

Wedding vows in Vegas
Weren't meant to last for ages
You've got to be courageous
To play the odds that love will win
Whatever city you're in.

Europe according to the British

Apophatic

"As tiresome as a child with a taste for religious controversy." Where did I read that?

Here be dragons

Soane, and so forth

There is a special candlelit opening of Sir John Soane's Museum on the first Tuesday evening of each month, 6-9pm, and I went along last night largely, I think, because I am a big girl's blouse.

I didn't get in. "Please expect long queues," says the website; accurately.

In the absence of my report on Sir John's collections and personal effects, acquired between the 1780s and his death in 1837, you will have to divert yourself with this video of Bruce Lee playing table tennis with nunchucks.

Let's just relish that again: table tennis with nunchucks. He really was comprised entirely of awesomeness.

Ryder on the storm

Perhaps we have evolved gills in Europe after all?

These are happy days with the Ryder Cup regained in Wales in Welsh weather and a USA team gracious in defeat.

Terry Matthews (Newport 1943) is a Welsh Born Icon.

Zune, just one look

After lunch on a wet and miserable Sunday yesterday, the Bomber and I sat down to entertain ourselves with the remake of Clash of the Titans.

It wasn't broadcast TV or a disc however, it was streamed to the new XBOX over the net. We only stumbled across the feature, but using it was next to effortless, and the quality was fine.

Writing here every day let's me see how much of an improvement that is over four years ago.

I think perhaps my DVDs will have gone the way of my CDs in another forty eight months.

Cancelled

KINGS FESTIVAL UPDATE : 0600hrs SUN 3rd OCT - FESTIVAL OFF. OVERNIGHT RAIN HAS FLOODED ALL HARD STANDING CAR PARKING. MORE RAIN FORECAST FOR THIS MORNING LATER. SADLY WITHOUT ANY ON SITE PARKING FACILITY THE FESTIVAL IS CANCELLED.

First kids rugby cancellation of the year this morning. First of many if last year and the Ryder Cup is anything to go by. I'm surprised we haven't evolved gills in the UK.

Katy Am Byth

Eberyting Welsh dese days.

Cardiff Internet Movie Database

SEATTLE – September 28, 2010—IMDb.com, Inc. (www.imdb.com), the authoritative source of information on movies, TV and celebrities, and part of the Amazon.com, Inc. group of companies, today announced and launched IMDb20, the company’s 20-year anniversary campaign. Beginning today, IMDb will treat fans to an original video interview with a different A-list artist each day, culminating on Oct. 17, 2010, (the date of IMDb’s 20th anniversary). The goal of the online countdown and companion editorial section is to celebrate the films of the past 20 years.

Yes my pretties, but in 1992 when it kicked away the shackles of rec.arts.movies and launched itself onto the World Wide Web (a network in its infancy back then) it was known as the Cardiff Internet Movie Database and was powered by a database residing on the servers of the computer science department of Wales' Cardiff University.

For IMDb.com is - and will ever remain - a Welsh Born Icon.

Spice Boy

The Bomber is ten today.

I bumped into the life guard from the Virgin Active pool yesterday. When she asked after him, it reminded me that there's a swimming certificate on his bedroom wall from all they way back in 2006.

Tempus fugit.

He wants to go to Jimmy Spice tonight (eat your way around the world in one room), and he's having a party on Saturday.

FAQ

1. How is it made?
Crabbie’s Alcoholic Ginger Beer is made from a fermented ginger base. Crabbie’s is made with real Ginger powder and root extract by steeping for 6 weeks, to infuse the liquid with a real ginger flavour. The Crabbie’s recipe is a traditional and guarded one with four 'secret' ingredients added to it.

The product is all natural in terms of its flavoring components.


2. What is the ABV?
4% ABV

3. Who makes it?
Crabbies is still made in Scotland but is wholly owned by Halewood International – who are based in Huyton

4. How many units of Alcohol are there in a 500ml bottle?
2 Units


5. What supermarkets/ stores are stocking Crabbie’s?
Waitrose, Sainsbury, Morrison’s, Booths, Netto, Bargain Booze, Nisa, Select & Save, Spar (Appleby Westward, capper, James Hall) & Botterills (Scotland).

6. Is it vegetarian ?
No

7. Is it gluten free ?
Yes


8. What pubs/managed bars/ bar chains are stocking it?
JD Wetherspoons, Mitchells and Butlers, Marstons, Belhaven Pub company, Yates, Hogshead and many independent bars.

9. What wholesalers/cash & carry’s can I buy from?
Nationally available through Bookers, Matthew Clarke, Classic Drinks, St. Austell Brewery, Parfetts, Batleys, Bestway, Bellevue, LWC, Makro, JW Filshill, United Wholesale, Hyperama, AF Blakemore, Inbev, Global Cash & carry, Morcambe Bay Wines, Molson Coors, HB Clark, Goldspot Cash & carry & many many more.

The Cunning Linguist

I find this hard to swallow - http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-11419212.

Our Kath

Katherine Jenkins started the Swansea Bay 10k yesterday and then ran the course with John, me and a few thousand others. I believe it is now compulsory for her to officiate at all public events in the Principality.

a flawless business model

We sold £1 for £2.

If I could scale that sort of transaction up by a few orders of magnitude we'd be laughing.

if you're a wild eyed loner

Prodnose: Hey you know there's a lot of talk going around about this hip and hep jive. Lots of people are going around saying "hip." Lots of squares are coming out with "hep." Well the hipster is here to inform you what the jive is all about.

Myself: Today I'm going to the the Great British Cheese Festival in Cardiff, and tomorrow I'm doing the Admiral Swansea Bay 10k run. It's the 30th anniversary you know.

Prodnose: What're you rebelling against, Johnny?

Myself: Nothing really.

Prodnose: But it's a road trip!

Myself (humouring him as the path of least resistance): It begins here for me on this road. How the whole mess happened I don't know, but I know it couldn't happen again in a million years. Maybe I could have stopped it early, but once the trouble was on its way, I was just goin' with it. Mostly I remember the girl. I can't explain it - a sad chick like that, but somethin' changed in me. She got to me, but that's later anyway. This is where it begins for me right on this road.

Prodnose: You The Man!

Myself: Who The Man? No! You The Man!

Prodnose: No, No! You the Man!

(repeat to fade)

Gi Whizz

Coming soon... the new IJF approved Fighting Films Superstar. As worn by 2010 World bronze medallist Euan Burton and Commonwealth Games Champion Winston Gordon.

I'd promised the Bomber a new judo suit for his birthday, but when it arrived it was the wrong size due to some sort of mix up. Fortunately Winnie managed to sort him out last night from some stock he had so Ben will be unwrapping a new gi next week.

In an amazing coincidence, I noticed on Facebook that Fighting Films had uploaded a YouTube video featuring Winston promoting their new suit on the very same day. Beyond cool for a nine nearly ten year old to get it from him.

Plus ca change, plus c'est la meme chose

This is the advice we are giving our public sector clients as they go through the arduous process of updating their policies to reflect the sea change from New Labour to the Lib-Con Coalition.

the knack of happy accidents

I stumbled upon what was - to me at least - the great lost Viv Stanshall album on Spotify last night.

Here is the link.

Looking at Amazon, it seems finally to have made it to CD last month; deep, deep joy.

sanguinary

Earlier this week, our commanders handed over responsibility for Sangin (the volatile town that has claimed 106 British lives, a third of the total killed in Afghanistan) to US troops.

Dozens of British soldiers were killed earlier this year when men of the 3 Rifles battle group pushed along the road running north to south of the town in Helmand province to build 22 patrol bases.

But the Americans decided to abandon the posts, instead concentrating their troops in four major bases from which they could conduct operations.

We conclude therefore that the blood spilled in setting up the patrol bases was wasted. Nothing is gained by the Prime Minister paying tribute to "huge achievements." Solemnity is required not gloss; see Icons passim.

I could not dig, I dared not rob,
And so I lied to please the mob.
Now all my lies are proved untrue,
And I must face the men I slew.
What tale will serve me here among
Mine angry and defrauded young?

Neurotrash

just simple lines intertwining, you know

In his book The Highland Clans, Iain Moncreiffe of that Ilk claimed that Elizabeth II of the United Kingdom "is the lawful Jacobite sovereign of this realm". Moncreiffe made the following argument:

... by the fourteenth century it had become common law (in both England and Scotland) that a person who was not born in the liegeance of the Sovereign, nor naturalised, could not have the capacity to succeed as an heir .... In Scotland, this law was modified in favour of the French from the sixteenth century, but was otherwise rigorously applied until the Whig Revolution of 1688, after which it was gradually done away with by the mid-nineteenth century. It was precisely because of this law that Queen Anne found it necessary to pass a special Act of Parliament naturalising all alien-born potential royal heirs under her Act of Settlement of the throne. But, of course, from the Jacobite point of view, no new statute could be passed after 1688 .... The nearest lawful heir of the Cardinal York in 1807 was, in fact, curiously enough, King George III himself, who had been born in England (and therefore in the technical liegance of James VIII).

Good to get that sorted out eh?

The Samurai Of Ayothaya

Deranged Thai action movies (see icons passim) are becoming one of the great consolations of my declining years. "The Samurai Of Ayothaya" looks very unlikely to let me down.

Martial prowess not withstanding - the other requirements of the elite guard of the king appear to be bristling Edwardian moustaches and Tony Curtis haircuts.

That is one minute and ten seconds into the trailer if you don't have the patience for the whole thing.

River and Cloth

Facebook Places has launched in the UK.

I went to http://touch.facebook.com/ and - to be frank - I can make neither head nor tail of it.

I'm in the same postcode however as:

River and Cloth

The Marquee, Merton Abbey Mills, Watermill Way, London, SW19 2RD

17 – 23 September, 10.00am – 5.00pm daily

Mr Nice

While I can't endorse freelance pharmaceutical distribution, Rhy Ifans' elevation to the rank of the Welsh Born Icon is overdue.

The King Over the Water

Inspired by the visit of the Pope I have been looking at the Jacobite Succession, which is the Catholic line through which the crown in pretence of England and Scotland has descended since the flight of James II & VII from London at the time of the Glorious Revolution.

A particular highlight is Henry Benedict Stuart (11 March 1725 – 13 July 1807) the younger brother of Bonnie Prince Charlie who was, handily, one of the longest ever serving Roman Catholic Cardinals, as well as the fourth and final Jacobite heir publicly to claim the thrones of England, Scotland, and Ireland.

In his youth, Henry's father made him Duke of York (in the Jacobite peerage), and it was by this title that he was best known. Upon the death of his brother in 1788 Henry became known by Jacobites, and within his personal entourage, as Henry IX of England.

Notably, the Cardinal-Duke of York was the last claimant to the English throne to touch for the King's Evil. That is to attempt to cure, say, tuberculosis by divine right through by laying on of hands.

Eat your heart out, Umberto Eco.

Geo Loco

One of these days someone is going to bring such post modern ironic distance to their perspective that the universe will start folding itself up around a strange attractor brought into being by the sheer reflexivity of it all.

And then where will we be?

forgotten your password?

Let us bring up our children. It is not
the place of some official to hand to them
their heritage.
If others impart to our children our knowledge
and ideals, they will lose all of us that is
wordless and full of wonder.
Let us build memories in our children,
lest they drag out joyless lives,
lest they allow treasures to be lost because
they have not been given the keys.
We live, not by things, but by the meanings
of things. It is needful to transmit the passwords
from generation to generation.

Prodnose: So you've booked to go skiing with the Bomber again! Don't you think you're being a little melodramatic?

Myself: OK, point taken. In my defence I'm not taking him out of school this time. We're going at half term with Andy and Jonnie, another father and son team who did Richmond to Windsor with us.

the parable of the talents

Oh man... the bullshit piled up so fast in Vietnam, you needed wings to stay above it.

I've been spending some time thinking about Facebook lately on behalf of a client. When I was looking at Twitter last year, Downing Street was the best example I could find on how not to go about it.

With Facebook however, the new regime has excelled itself. Contrasting the hubris of the pathetic "web conference" above between the Prime Minister and Facebook co-founder Mark Zuckerberg with Number 10's own ridiculous Facebook application which hasn't been updated since July would be funny if it wasn't for the fact that this really is the government.

Please pass all future Government announcements on efficiency through a prism informed by the gap between their own aspiration and delivery in this comparatively trivial and potentially easily managed area.

The "latest news" according to Number 10 on Facebook is:

Health Secretary Andrew Lansley in live Q&A 22 Jul 09:31

What price NHS IT with this shower?

As for Andy Coulson - David Cameron's communications director - who is currently under seige for other matters, what do we think?

1. 'Well done, good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things.

or

2. Whoever does not have, even what he has will be taken from him. And throw that worthless servant outside, into the darkness, where there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth.

The more alfalfa he did not grow ...

at a stretch

I have previously pleaded guilty to reading "Eat, Pray, Love" I grant you, but I have embarked on a recovery programme based on:

1. Stretch: The Unlikely Making of a Yoga Dude

2. mindful drinking
3. bhangra Sex Pistols covers.

In our Age

The Church regards with esteem also the Moslems. They adore the one God, living and subsisting in Himself; merciful and all- powerful, the Creator of heaven and earth, who has spoken to men; they take pains to submit wholeheartedly to even His inscrutable decrees, just as Abraham, with whom the faith of Islam takes pleasure in linking itself, submitted to God. Though they do not acknowledge Jesus as God, they revere Him as a prophet. They also honor Mary, His virgin Mother; at times they even call on her with devotion. In addition, they await the day of judgment when God will render their deserts to all those who have been raised up from the dead. Finally, they value the moral life and worship God especially through prayer, almsgiving and fasting.

Since in the course of centuries not a few quarrels and hostilities have arisen between Christians and Moslems, this sacred synod urges all to forget the past and to work sincerely for mutual understanding and to preserve as well as to promote together for the benefit of all mankind social justice and moral welfare, as well as peace and freedom.

In a week when Pastor Terry Jones, of the Dove World Outreach Center, plans to put copies of the Koran in a bonfire and a week before the Pope lands in the UK, I thought I'd remind you what the Catholic Church actually teaches about interfaith relations.

Prince wrote a song called "Pope" and it goes like this:

Your car got mags that be dippy dippy dope
But the whole damn nation got the same
Honey only flock 2 the bee that's the Pope
Not the President with government lame

Put me on a slow movin' parlimentary hackin' bandwagon
U could put my little ass in the grave
Everytime u want it I'll be live, bring a date
I mean computer when its over press save

Frankly I'm none the wiser.

Top of the world

Judo's 2010 World Championships start in Tokyo at 1am GMT tomorow morning, with EB Phoenix's Winston Gordon among the 21 strong British team.

What a thing it has been to see him fight his way back to competing at the highest level after a career threatening injury.

The Bomber and I wish him all the best.

mashable

Myself: I was working in the lab late one night, when my eyes beheld an eerie sight, for my monster from his slab began to rise and suddenly to my surprise ..

Prodnose: He did the mash?

Myself: He did the monster mash.

Prodnose: The monster mash?

Myself: It was a graveyard smash.

Prodnose: He did the mash?

Myself: It caught on in a flash.

Prodnose: He did the mash?

Myself: He did the monster mash.

Tempting as it might be to imagine that something like "A Hard Rain's a-Gonna Fall" was the soundtrack to the Cuban Missile Crisis, it was in fact Bobby Pickett's "Monster Mash" that topped the charts while the world held its breath.

I find this curiously reassuring. "Now everything's cool, Drac's a part of the band and my monster mash is the hit of the land."

..and the Windsor is

I did the Richmond to Windsor Bike ride yesterday along with a debuting Bomber, Jonnie and his Dad Andy, and a lot of the Whitton crew that Ben knows from skiing.

Huge fun. When we got to the Sunbury stop a lot of the boys were drinking from a case of beer. When I asked Bondy where it came from, he said that Darren had driven the route the night before stashing supplies at convenient locations.

Much respect to the Bomber and Jonnie for finishing the course at a tender nine years of age.

the world's strangest rock band

I'm gettin' bugged driving up and down the same old strip
I gotta finda new place where the kids are hip

My buddies and me are getting real well known
Yeah, the bad guys know us and they leave us alone

Down with Skool

The Bomber makes the best of yesterday's INSET day, climbin' trees and scrapin' knees. Back to school, nose to grindstone, shoulder to wheel etc. at the beginning of next week.

Toper Tony

“I was clearly at the limit. A whisky or a gin and tonic before dinner, then one or two glasses of wine, even a half-bottle.”

We are admittedly spoiled for choice, but is there any more egregious example of Tony Blair's indestructible self regard than the "revelation" about his drinking above? He could drink that much every day for the rest of his life with no problem at all. Does he imagine there's a whiff of Devil may care glamour about it? Does he wear pajamas, leave the toilet seat up? The public has a right to know.

According to a breathless report in the Daily Mail, even Cliff Richard (the Peter Pan of pop whose home the Blairs borrowed for holidays a couple of times) finds room for a daily glass of wine or two in his never ending diet.

While Sir Cliff stands a good chance of drinking you under the table you're still a little way from skid row.

It's pathetic; the posturing of a milk monitor down for his 'hood.

Appeasement on the Help Desk

Chamberlain: Arthur Neville Chamberlain. Talk to me.

Caller: My computer deleted my entire hard drive overnight. All of my files are gone. It must’ve been some kind of virus.

Chamberlain: I can sense the pain and longing in your voice. You’re angry, seeking revenge for your loss, perhaps.

Caller: My dissertation was on this thing!

Chamberlain: In the short term, I can offer no salve for your pain. But let us look, for a moment, through the long lens of history, where aggression is rarely rewarded and retribution brings only further misery. In the face of such difficulties as yours, it is important to remain principled. This is an evil machine — one that uses brute force, bad faith, injustice, oppression and persecution — and against it I am certain that the right will prevail in the end.

Caller: So can you help me retrieve my dissertation or not?

Chamberlain: We cannot risk this fragile peace.

A companion piece to the medieval http://nickbrowne.coraider.com/2007/12/help-desk.html.

Education, Education, Education

By observing the following six rules any boy of twelve can easily protect himself from the attacks of a full-grown man:

I. As your opponent makes for you, step quickly under his arm, and, stooping, grasp his left ankle with both hands, fingers interlocked. Rise smartly, and with a circular motion throw him over your right shoulder.

II. Enraged, your adversary will reach for you with his right hand. Step lightly aside, and, as his arm passes you, strike it sharply with your fist. This will break his wrist.

III. Your antagonist will now reach for you with his left hand. Take two rapid steps backward and kick his open palm, at the base of the thumb, upwards. This will dislocate his shoulder and cause a compound fracture of his left floating rib.

IV. Your mortified foe will attempt to kick you. Catch his foot in your left hand and twist his leg off at the knee.

V. Your enemy will make an effort to kick you with his other foot . Step quickly behind him and butt him in the small of the back with your head. Properly administered, this blow should break and dislocate every vertebra in his spinal column.

VI. The last attempt your adversary will make will be to bite you. As he opens his mouth place your open left hand on his forehead, and, thrusting your right down his throat, take a good hold, and with a long, strong pull, turn him inside out. This trick is somewhat dangerous and should only be tried by an expert, as otherwise your opponent may be painfully injured.

From the apparently genuine "The foolish almanack for the year 1906 A.D. and the fifth since the discovery of race suicide by President Roosevelt ..."

Any intelligence on what is being spoofed by "the discovery of race suicide by President Roosevelt" gratefully received.

Scammony

Last August I thought I had Japanese knotweed all over the back garden. Now I think it may just be bindweed, but I'm still pulling it up over a year later, and I wouldn't be surprised if it takes me another twelve months to get rid of it completely.

I've pretty much given up on looking after the lawn while this war is on, as I'm forever pulling foot long ropes of roots up through it.

Medicinal and other uses - http://earthnotes.tripod.com/bindweed.htm.

Fantasyfwit

Cardiff City are joint top of the Championship after beating Portsmouth 2-0 away. Sweet revenge for being beaten by them in the 2008 FA Cup Final.

It's too soon to get carried away though. The new FantasyFwit game and website could have been made for long term City followers.

Each week you have to pick a team you reckon are most likely to screw up: you are awarded points according to the accuracy of your prediction. There are any number of ways to acquire points, but the basics are as follows. All players on a losing team score one point – that's doubled if you lose by three goals or more. The most disappointing player on the pitch, chosen by a panel of F**wit experts scores an extra three points. (On the first weekend of the season this accolade went to Wayne Rooney.) An own goal gets you three points – with a bonus for comedy value – as does giving away a penalty

Oh Krapp

Michael Gambon's going to be doing Krapp's Last Tape in London from the middle of September. I learned of this from an advert on Facebook, that took me to its Fan page where I registered my Like. I'll certainly try and go. Its Beckett so book it.

That said, I'm now getting tugged on the sleeve about this production by targeted adverts everywhere. I've seen it on the Google ads on the blog itself (subtle and understated they are to be found at the very bottom of the page), and on the Google mail web client that I use to manage a few email accounts.

It's starting to get on my nerves. I had imagined myself as something of a twinkle toed sprinkler of fairy dust when I'm writing. The idea that impersonal number crunching engines should look at my blog and correspondence and decide that "plays and novels of loneliness, despair and human degradation" are right up my alley is deeply discouraging.

Prodnose: Never throw letters around carelessly. It could spell disaster.

Fighters Uncaged

The Bomber and I are agreed. The new XBOX for his birthday at the end of September, then Microsoft Kinect for Christmas.

Bring on the heroically unPC Fighters Uncaged:

Among the new films

Coco Chanel & Igor Stravinsky
Darling! Divine! It's divine! It's divinsky!

(She looks a mess in her little black dress

and his Rite of Spring's held together with string.)

I have no idea what I mean by this.

I am not a free man, I am a number

The Bomber is back later today from three weeks in the States, and I have missed him very much indeed.

We (plus a lot of other friends) are doing the Richmond To Windsor Bike Ride on September 5. I am number 1248 and he is number 1249, so there will be a fair few people there.

Then on September 26, I'm doing the 30th Anniversary SwanseaBay10k with my brother. I'm number 35787 in that. There can't be thirty six odd thousand competitors surely? That said I seem to remember that the elite Kenyans had practically finished by the time our part of the throng managed to get past the starting line last time I did it.

Sir William Topaz McGonagall

...... Poet and Tragedian.

For the stronger we our houses do build,
The less chance we have of being killed.

I didn't know until I read it here, that the immortal McGonagall tread the boards as well as versifying.

McGonagall as Macbeth refused to die when run through by Macduff; he maintained his feet and flourished his weapon about the ears of his adversary in such a way that there was for some time an apparent possibility of a real tragedy. Macduff, continually telling him to go down became at length so incensed that he gave him a smart rap over the fingers with the flat of his sword. McGonagall dropped his weapon, but dodged and pranced as if to wrestle. Macduff threw his sword aside, seized Macbeth and brought the sublime tragedy to a close in a rather undignified way by taking the feet from under the principal character.

swarm in here

I suggest you count your bees, you may find that one of them is missing.

After a 3-week boot-camp rehearsal period in Battersea Park, hundreds of youngsters dressed as bees swarmed across London to create site- specific happenings last weekend, highlighting the recent alarming drop in the honeybee population.

The project - called "S’warm" - was the largest performance that the U.K.’s National Youth Theatre has put on.

To think I missed it (c.f. the mouse problem).

World Party

And if you listen now
You might hear
A new sound coming in
As an old one disappears
See the world in just one grain of sand
You better take a closer look
Don't let it slip right through your hand
Won't you please hear the call
The world says

Put the message in the box
Put the box into the car
Drive the car around the world
Until you get heard

Now is the moment
Please understand
The road is wide open

My brother, my sister in law, and my nephew have taken the bull by the horns and set off to travel the world for a year. They've got as far as the wonderfully named Swakopmund in Namibia. We can follow them on http://www.3worldwanderers.blogspot.com/

Nothing is funnier than unhappiness, I grant you that.

This morning the Telegraph in its mission to explain informs us that yoga protects the brain from depression.

Yesterday the message on the same pages was that the drug Ketamine acts like "magic" lifting people out of depression.

It stands to reason then that combining horse tranquiliser injections with asanas would have you walking on air.

Am I really learning anything by reading this twaddle day after day?

What is that your business?

According to the Torygraph science coverage this morning the universe is to expand for ever even though the Moon is shrinking. Don't even get me started on ketamine for depression.

Depression and cosmology? Proof again that all human life is in Annie Hall:

Doctor in Brooklyn: Why are you depressed, Alvy?
Alvy's Mom: Tell Dr. Flicker.
[Young Alvy sits, his head down - his mother answers for him]
Alvy's Mom: It's something he read.
Doctor in Brooklyn: Something he read, huh?
Alvy at 9: [his head still down] The universe is expanding.
Doctor in Brooklyn: The universe is expanding?
Alvy at 9: Well, the universe is everything, and if it's expanding, someday it will break apart and that would be the end of everything!
Alvy's Mom: What is that your business?
[she turns back to the doctor]
Alvy's Mom: He stopped doing his homework!
Alvy at 9: What's the point?
Alvy's Mom: What has the universe got to do with it? You're here in Brooklyn! Brooklyn is not expanding!
Doctor in Brooklyn: It won't be expanding for billions of years yet, Alvy. And we've gotta try to enjoy ourselves while we're here!

Chicken Bones

A music video - hat tip Babylon Wales - shot in Cardiff.

Bessemer Road market .... the memories ........ the memories .....

I checked out the Queen of Denmark album its from on Spotify. A little too much of the shoegazy pie for my taste, but pleasant enough.

Venus and Mars

It was the battle of men vs. women at the American box office this weekend, a conflict won rather handily by Sylvester Stallone and his muscular man-team of action heroes. The Expendables dominated the charts, parachuting into first place with $35 million. That meant Julia Roberts’ spiritual and romantic quest in Eat Pray Love had to make do with discovering itself in second place, with a decent $23.7 million.

After a false start, I am actually reading Eat Pray Love and the moment, and rather enjoying to be honest. Make of that what you will. There is still something atavistic in me however that thrills to see Eric win out in the battle of the Roberts.

Exhibit A: 8 million views


Exhibit B: 1 million views

Justice must not only be done

... it must be seen to be believed.

---

Transcript of Chris Poole Churm Rincewind before the Honorable
Thomas W. Phillips Justice Cocklecarrot on April 22, 2010.
APPEARANCES:
ON BEHALF OF THE GOVERNMENT:
Mark Krotoski Tinklebury Snapdriver
Assistant U.S. Attorney

Q. And is there any significance to "new fags"?

A. That is the term used to describe new users to the site.

Q. What about "b tard"?

A. It's a term that users of the /b/- Random board use for themselves.

Q. What about "troll"?

A. Troublemaker.

Q. "404"?

A. 404 is the status code for not found. It means essentially gone or not found.

Q. Not found on where, the 4chan site?

A. 404 is the http status code for not found, a page not found by the Web server.

Q. In what about "peeps"?

A. People.

Q. "Rickroll"?

A. Rickroll is a mean or Internet kind of trend that started on 4chan where users -- it basically a bait and switch. Users link you to a video of Rick Astley performing Never Gonna Give You Up.

(Uproar in court)

---

On September 16, 2008, during the 2008 United States presidential election campaign, the Yahoo! personal email account of vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin was subjected to unauthorized access. The hacker, David Kernell, had obtained access to Palin's account by looking up biographical details such as her high school and birthdate and using Yahoo!'s account recovery for forgotten passwords. Kernell then posted several pages of Palin's email on 4chan's /b/ board. This unauthorized access was ultimately prosecuted as four felony crimes punishable by up to 50 years in federal prison

millions on website redesigns as job cuts loom

Councils are spending millions on redesigns of their websites despite facing the biggest funding cuts in their history, the Telegraph can disclose.

Agape

Have you ever felt that 1 Corinthians 13 is following you round?

I had to do it as a reading at one of Kevin's weddings. (Prodnose: Bride or groom? Myself: Season ticket.) My father quoted in his speech a couple of weeks ago, and now it has turned up towards the end of my reading of Tim Parks' Teach Us to Sit Still.

It's about love. " In the original Greek, the word αγαπη agape is used throughout. This is translated into English as charity in the King James version; but the word love is preferred by most other translations, both earlier and more recent."

So we get:

Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, and have not charity, I am become as sounding brass, or a tinkling cymbal.

or

If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal.

Intriguing isn't it?

"Agape is one of several ancient Greek words for distinct types of love, one which became particularly appropriated in Christian theology ..... in contrast to philia—an affection that could denote either brotherhood or generally non-sexual affection, and eros, an affection of a sexual nature."

The Sapir-Whorf hypothesis suggest that that differences in the way languages encode cognitive categories affect cultural values to the extent that speakers of different languages think and behave differently because of it.

It's all food for thought, when you consider the meaning a naive English speaker who knows what pediatrician and Francophile mean might derive for paedophile. I know our manners are bad. Perhaps our language is coarser than it might be as well.

Love is too weak a word for what I feel - I luuurve you, you know, I loave you, I luff you, two F's, yes I have to invent ...

Alvy Singer
Annie Hall

Après le déluge

Myself: A storming set from Damien Flood in the rain at AbbeyFest last night.

Prodnose: Enough with the water references already.

Seriously, it was a great performance for the event as it was seasoned with enough familiar covers to carry the audience along. Some of the folk who play here get a bit too cerebral.

It was good to see Mornington Lockett on sax and Frank Tonto (System X) on drums in the band. Like the old days.

A bit of Tom Jones

In a late night bar, Henry is approached by a mysterious woman who offers to sell him the severed "manhood" of Wales' greatest vocal entertainer… Believing he can make a fortune selling the infamous appendage on to obsessive fans, Henry stumps up the cash.

To help find the right buyer, Henry teams up with his slightly dodgy best friend Teddy and together the two head off on an insane journey that leads them deep into the secret world of celebrity body part trading. Along the way, they have a fight with a Gorilla, are bubbled bathed by a randy pensioner, kidnapped by adult babies, break into a police station, take a day trip to Belgium to meet the World's biggest dealer of celebrity off-cuts and even get caught up in the slowest Police chase in movie history… ...and all for a bit of Tom Jones?

Ramadan

I see that Ramadan is starting today.

The first time I ever heard of it was when Sami El-Taji fasted when I was working for Fluor aeons ago.

One of nature's aristocrats and a gentleman as I recall.

He was also the first Palestinian I ever met. I was only vaguely aware of them as figures you used to see on the TV surrounded by rubble up to then, as opposed to flesh and blood human beings.

What a dimwit I was in my early twenties.

Newport Retort

Bad news from the Torygraph this morning (confirmed Icons passim):

The hit internet video Newport State of Mind, which sent up the Alicia Keys/Jaz-Z collaboration about New York, has apparently been removed from YouTube in a copyright row.

We will have to console ourselves (hat tip, Chris) with Goldie Lookin Chain's response to MJ Delaney's affectionate take on Jay-Z, Alicia and the Chain's hometown:



Perhaps EMI should make a video responding to this in turn?

Too cool for school

Sign our yearbook by tweeting a message using #yearbook or join the class at www.twitter.com/jobs

All thinking movie goers have a place in their hearts for Wes Anderson. I don't go back as far as Bottle Rocket myself but I've been on board from Rushmore up to Fantastic Mr Fox.

Quite why Twitter have chosen to promote a recruitment drive with a tribute to this scene from Rushmore I don't know, though it looks like fun.

Perhaps they're plugging in to the aspirational "My top schools where I want to apply to are Oxford and the Sorbonne. My safety's Harvard."

Manioc

Ben's got a friend from a Brazilian family. They were cooking the other day when we dropped him back, and gave me what I would have taken for a chip (French or freedom fry) to sample.

"It's manioc," I was told.

It turns out that manioc is the same thing as cassava, and I remember cassava from the dismissive references made to it in Blood River.

I noticed what I took to be cassava outside the Sri Lankan shop at the bottom of the road, and took it in to ask the proprietor if I was right. He explained that I was, then took out a knife to show me how to peel it, stressing that I should make sure to discard the dry, hard sections at the end.

I took it home, sliced, parboiled and deep fried it, the served it up with some jerk chicken as a tribute to Jamaican Bammy which is deep-fried cassava flatbread.

Hardly "to see the world in a grain of sand," I'll grant you, but still a good example of the rewards of following your eyes, ears, nose and taste buds. A lot of the time the richness of your experience is as much down to your attitude as your environment.

abbreviated art.

Compare and contrast the sublime:

"I can't think of a nicer place to sit this spring over a glass of rosé and watch the boys and girls in the street outside smiling gaily to each other, and wondering where to go for a nosh."

with the tin-eared:

"I can't think of a nicer place to sit this spring over a glass of rosé and watch the boys and girls in the street outside smiling gaily to each other, and wondering where to go for nosh."

I know I'm late to this but you can read Giles Coren's expletive strewn rant about a sub-editor's mutilation of his copy by the removal of a single indefinite article here.

He is a comedy writer of genius, though it is a Pooterish genius rather than the belle-lettrist genius he seems to imagine.

I was working on the proof of one of my poems all the morning, and took out a comma. In the afternoon I put it back again.

Oscar Wilde

tiny desk

Here's some evidence of Tom Jones stripping his sound down early last year and before Praise and Blame. I really like Brian Monroney's understated guitar playing on this.

What I wouldn't give to see Tiny Elvis perform at the Tiny Desk.

129,864,880

When you are part of a company that is trying to digitize all the books in the world, the first question you often get is: “Just how many books are out there?”

Well, it all depends ........

Counting only things that are printed and bound, we arrive at about 146 million. This is our best answer today. It will change as we get more data and become more adept at interpreting what we already have.

Our handling of serials is still imperfect. Serials cataloging practices vary widely across institutions. The volume descriptions are free-form and are often entered as an afterthought. For example, “volume 325, number 6”, “no. 325 sec. 6”, and “V325NO6” all describe the same bound volume ......

Prodnose: That old chestnut. There is nothing I like better than a good "same bound volume" ploy.

After we exclude serials, we can finally count all the books in the world. There are 129,864,880 of them. At least until Sunday.

The annoying orange

According to Mashable, The Annoying Orange is the most watched web series; too much weird ppl in dis world.

Also on the infomaniac beat, RIP Google Wave. "We celebrate our failures," says Eric Schmidt; a modest man with much, it would seem to be modest about. Can Buzz be far behind the hearse?

Feed, Fight, Fornicate

I found myself reading "Eat, Pray, Love: One Woman's Search for Everything Across Italy, India and Indonesia" last night for God's sake. I can sort of understand how I got there from the "idiot-participatory" martial arts genre via "Yoga School Drop Out", but it still came as something of a shock.

Luckily perhaps, there was a daft assertion about numerology early in the book that woke me from my reverie. [The individual digits of any factor of nine - in turn a factor of three - will always add up to nine or to a factor of nine, for the simple reason that we are recording them in a base ten system Ms Gilbert.]

I tried watching Factotum (a darkly comic adaptation of Charles Bukowski's semi-autobiographical novel about a writer trying to avoid distractions such as his personal peccadilloes of women, gambling and alcohol) to regain some perspective, then set my chest hair on fire "to see what would happen" but I fear it is only a temporary reprieve.

Taking the "p" out of politics?

The internet and the 2010 election

One of the objectives of this short volume ...... is to cut through some of the hype to provide some empirical evidence of the internet’s place in the election and also assess what realistically we might expect from the internet. Hence, Gibson et al’s contribution provides some of the first concerted evidence on the public’s engagement with the internet during the election. The data presented indicates significant rises, since 2005, in internet use across a range of election activities that cannot simply be explained by the growth of the technology alone.

Andy Williamson’s chapter contextualises the role of the internet and social media into longer term changes. One of the suggestions here is that we might not even be looking in the right places to see the influence of the internet, that its real effects are more subtle and away from traditional political arenas in a wider range of online social spaces. The internet is relevant to a campaign because it is an important medium in the lives of so many.

Building on Williamson’s argument, Mark Pack tells us that the internet has now become an organisational necessity for election campaigning but that it has not brought about that strategic change that some have argued we should expect. He argues that the internet has not removed hierarchies or elites. Instead it has created new elites. Pack further suggests that more dramatic changes are likely to occur to the business of governing partly as a result public sharing of information and the opening up of public data.

Matthew McGregor and Will Straw’s chapters focus on aspects of the parties online campaigns. Whilst direct transfer of US style campaigns might not work in the UK, Straw notes that lessons from the 2008 US campaigns were learnt by both Labour and the Conservatives and did play an active part in their 2010 campaigns. He goes further, concentrating in particular on Labour’s use of online tools to help generate local mobilisation and how this might also be taken forward in the context of the current leadership election.

Although much of the media excitement was around social media, one of the key lessons of the Obama campaign was the value of the less sexy email databases and of developing ongoing communication strategies. McGregor highlights differences in the main parties’ strategic approach to new media and suggests that whilst the UK parties arguably began to understand some of the significance of e-campaigning they still failed to fully buy into concept. They still either operated on old-fashioned, top-down broadcasting principles (Conservatives) or only sporadically linked online mobilisation to offline activity (Labour).

A little background reading. It's not all fun and games you know.

Big Weekend

I'm back from Wales and a Big Weekend bookended by a Cardiff Arms Park Mail Choir serenaded anniversary party and the Evolution of Wales exhibition taken in just before departing.

A 4,600 million-year voyage lends a sense of perspective to the M4 you see.

Gold

We are off down to Wales later today for my Mum and Dad's 50th wedding anniversary tomorrow.

In the Commonwealth realms, one can receive a message from the monarch for 60th, 65th, and 70th wedding anniversaries, and any wedding anniversary after that. This is done by applying to Buckingham Palace in the United Kingdom, or to the Governor-General's office in the other Commonwealth realms.

In Canada, one can also receive a message from the Governor General for 50th and 55th anniversaries.

The situation is similar in Australia, where one can receive a letter of congratulations from the Governor-General on the 50th and all subsequent wedding anniversaries; the Prime Minister, the federal Opposition leader, local members of parliament (both state and federal), and state Governors may also send salutations for the same anniversaries.

In the United States, one can receive a greeting from the President for any wedding anniversary on or after the 50th.

Roman Catholics may apply for a Papal blessing through their local diocese for wedding anniversaries of a special nature (25th, 50th, 60th, etc.).

So ten years until the Queen has to step up the plate though President Obama would be on the case if we were Yanks.

Normal service will be resumed after the weekend.

Hardback Times

Rather than letting Amazon take the strain, I went to a bookshop to buy a present earlier this week, so that I could inscribe it. (Happy birthday John.)

Before I went, I printed out my Amazon wish list in case I could pick some of the volumes on it up. Fat chance. To my jaundiced eye, the necessarily limited range of a physical shop now seems ridiculously narrow. I was particularly outraged by the parsimonious offerings in the philosophy section for some reason that probably reflects badly on me.

I settled myself down with a significant Amazon order when I got home.

I can't help but wonder if I'm not behind the curve with my attachment to physical books though. E-books outsell hardbacks on Amazon and Amazon has anniunced that its Kindle store has sold over one million digital copies of the books in Stieg Larsson's Millennium Trilogy: "The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo," "The Girl Who Played with Fire" and "The Girl Who Kicked the Hornet's Nest" (Icons passim) making him the first author to make it into seven figures for ebook sales.

Round and Round

The Bomber and I took a spin on Boris' new CS7 cycle superhighway on the weekend, and I confess to being very impressed, and entirely comfortable with my nine year old navigating it which is not something I can generally say about cycling on the road.

There's a TFL online cycling route planner now (here) and the London bike hire scheme launches this week, so it is all action on the two wheeler front.

Cardiff as ever appears to be in the lead though, if more modest, with bikes available as near to Bronwydd Avenue as Roath Park Rec.

From the nothing new under the sun department I recommend this 1936 Pathe News cycling tips film:

Evelyn Hamilton, women's professional cycling champion gives cycling tips - covering fashion and safety. M/S of Evelyn having her legs massaged. She stands up and stretches her arms. She is wearing a revealing bikini.

Various shots of Evelyn cycling down road on racing bike. She wears natty beret and plus fours trousers ........

a truth universally acknowledged

It is a truth universally acknowledged that a girl of a certain age, and in a certain situation in life, must be in want of a right hook.

There is an almost irresistible steampunk brio here. I'm finding myself spending more and more time with viral videos.

Pretentious, moi?

If we think of time as orthogonal to space, a stream-based, time-based Cybersphere is the traditional Internet flipped on its side in digital space-time. The traditional web-shaped Internet consists (in effect) of many flat panels chaotically connected. Instead of flat sites, where information is arranged in space, we want deep sites that are slices of time. When we look at such a site onscreen, it's natural to imagine the past extending into (or beyond) the screen, and the future extending forward in front of the screen; the future flows towards the screen, into the screen and then deeper into the space beyond the screen.

Rubbing Salt

It dawned on me, as the lights dimmed for the screening of Salt, that I have never actually seen noted baby-hoarder Angelina Jolie DO anything. Except hoard babies ..

Reading Lindy West on the new movie "Salt" this morning, it struck me how many of the writers who make me laugh lately are women.

A little further research into this new release having revealed that Ms Jolie trained muay Thai under the supervision of the action director has left me pondering what a long shadow Icons passim throw over what little I manage to take in from all that streams by me.

But seriously

More GELERNTER:

25. If we think of time as orthogonal to space, a stream-based, time-based Cybersphere is the traditional Internet flipped on its side in digital space-time. The traditional web-shaped Internet consists (in effect) of many flat panels chaotically connected. Instead of flat sites, where information is arranged in space, we want deep sites that are slices of time. When we look at such a site onscreen, it's natural to imagine the past extending into (or beyond) the screen, and the future extending forward in front of the screen; the future flows towards the screen, into the screen and then deeper into the space beyond the screen.

That is a posh way of describing something we've done for launch next week. Watch this space.

Ymerodraeth State of Mind

I have officially heard Jay Z and Alicia Keys enough times to last me the rest of my life, though it is watching the video just once more to see just how clever the Newport version is.

In Dreams

We are trapped by assumptions that unravel as soon as we think about them: "we" meaning not only laymen but many philosophers and scientists. Here are three important wrong assumptions.

Many people believe that "thinking" is basically the same as "reasoning."

But when you stop work for a moment, look out the window and let your mind wander, you are still thinking. Your mind is still at work. This sort of free-association is an important part of human thought. No computer will be able to think like a man unless it can free-associate.

Many people believe that reality is one thing and your thoughts are something else. Reality is on the outside; the mental landscape created by your thoughts is inside your head, within your mind. (Assuming that you're sane.)

Yet we each hallucinate every day, when we fall asleep and dream. And when you hallucinate, your own mind redefines reality for you; "real" reality, outside reality, disappears. No computer will be able to think like a man unless it can hallucinate.

Many people believe that the thinker and the thought are separate. For many people, "thinking" means (in effect) viewing a stream of thoughts as if it were a PowerPoint presentation: the thinker watches the stream of his thoughts. This idea is important to artificial intelligence and the computationalist view of the mind. If the thinker and his thought-stream are separate, we can replace the human thinker by a computer thinker without stopping the show. The man tiptoes out of the theater. The computer slips into the empty seat. The PowerPoint presentation continues.

But when a person is dreaming, hallucinating — when he is inside a mind-made fantasy landscape — the thinker and his thought-stream are not separate. They are blended together. The thinker inhabits his thoughts. No computer will be able to think like a man unless it, too, can inhabit its thoughts; can disappear into its own mind.

I give you DAVID GELERNTER's DREAM-LOGIC, THE INTERNET AND ARTIFICIAL THOUGHT. Read it at least a couple of times.

What good is it?

Courtesy of the Grauniard, I learn that the new Tom Jones album is available for preview for free at http://www.we7.com/#/album/Tom-Jones/Praise--Blame.

Free music - Praise & Blame

What do we think? Praise or blame? It's no use asking me, I think everything he does is great.

P.S. I have never previously heard of http://www.we7.com/.

Music and Fun

I ticked a lot of boxes yesterday by going to the Strawberry Hill Music and Fun Day in Twickenham.

1. Exercise. I cycled over and back, getting my cardio for the day done in the sun.

2. Socialise. Met up with a lot of old friends I don't see enough. These days a shirtless Dommy is eerily reminiscent of the Iggy Pop puppet in the Swiftcover TV advert.

3. Food and drink. "This is a song for anyone who has been drinking all day. It's about drinking all day, and its called ...... Drinking All Day" announced Duncan McManus of the Biblecode Sundays.

4. Music. The Downliners Sect formed in 1963 but still deliver the goods. (Downliners Sect on Spotify.)

5. Contributed to a good cause, supporting the restoration of Strawberry Hill House, Britain's only Gothic castle. See serendipitous Icons passim.

My Beautiful Laundrette

The washing machine that came with the house when I bought it has finally given up the ghost, so I went along to Curry's to sort out a replacement yesterday. At first I couldn't find any fitted machines at all as they were in a completely different part of the shop to the bog-standard ones. Then when I finally discovered and chose a suitable model I was told it couldn't be installed until August 19th, so I just gave up on the whole thing and sulked.

This - in short - is why I found myself in a launderette first thing this morning for the first time in twenty odd years. There was a notice on the wall saying that the machines only took the "new 50p pieces". These new coins came out in 1997. So little had changed from the ambience that I remembered that I found it rather soothing to sit there for forty minutes or so reading ancient Mail on Sunday "lifestyle" supplements and reminiscing.

I used to do my washing lunchtimes on Sunday, so long ago that in those days the pubs only opened from noon until 2pm, and I'd sit in the Nelson with the boys for a pint or wto while my smalls revolved in water then hot air a little further up the road.

featuring ludicrous is right

Prodnose: YouTube phenom Justin Bieber has nabbed the honour of having the most-viewed YouTube video of all time from Lady Gaga’s “Bad Romance” capturing 245,746,720 views for his vid “Baby ft. Ludacris.” against her 245,570,952.

Myself: The Shallows: How the Internet is Changing the Way We Think, Read and Remember draws on the latest research to show that the Net is literally re-wiring our brains inducing only superficial understanding. As a consequence there are profound changes in the way we live and communicate, remember and socialise - even in our very conception of ourselves. By moving from the depths of thought to the shallows of distraction, the web, it seems, is actually fostering ignorance.

(Attention on the Beach and) Promenade

The second Jazz Friday of Abbeyfest has rolled around already.

I was talking to Mark at the first last week and telling him how much we enjoyed the promenade performance of Romeo and Juliet last year that took the production all round the Mills and the Chapter House. He said that he hadn't managed to sort out anything similar this year, but that he would have liked to do Cyrano de Bergerac.

I've had pretty much the same thought as there are so may scenes like the opening at the theatre, the baker, the cadets etc. in which the audience could actually "play" the production's in situ spectators. There is also, of course, the issue of my own - currently moribund - translation.

The upshot of a booze fuelled discussion is that, if I can finish it by around next March, they'll do my version here in 2011.

I aspire to the take-it-to-the street genius that is improveverywhere below:

Track 77

I lost my copy of the new Prince album when it was given away with the Mirror on Saturday, but now - due to some "Tlön, Uqbar, Orbis Tertius" type disruption in the space-time continuum - I appear to have two copies in my gaff.

The stand out is a hidden track; number 77. That's right it comes after sixty odd brief silent efforts. The easiest way to get to it is to go back from track 1. I ripped it to a PC and tried adding it to the "local" files in Spotify thinking that would give me access to it from wherever I ran the app, but no luck so what then is the point of this feature?

Catch Laydown on YouTube while you can.

... from the heart of Minnesota, here come the purple Yoda, guaranteed to bring the dirty new sound...

Christmas with Milo

Our original (2006 vintage) XBox 360 has long gone kaput, but it seems to me that the new slimline, wireless XBox 360 S plus the "controller-free gaming and entertainment experience" provided by the Kinect (previously Natal) looks like a must for Christmas.

Every night around this time

I read the Guardian and I need to go to The National Cowboy Poetry Gathering because:

• Young men from the Basque Country arrived in Elko in the 1870s to work as ranch hands, and now dedicate themselves to serving food whose quality is matched only by its quantity. On our first night we make the amateur's mistake of ordering a meal each, only to be defeated by a perfect filet mignon the size of a baseball mitt, incredible lamb steaks larger than most sheep, and side dishes which might elsewhere be mistaken for swimming pools.
  
• Ramblin' Jack [Elliott] did not acquire his nickname because of a penchant for long walks: in nearly an hour onstage, he gets around to three songs, including Dylan's Don't Think Twice, It's Alright. The rest of the time is taken up with a tangent-riddled anecdote about teaching his dog to drive. It contains not a single punchline, and is one of the funniest things I've ever heard.
  
• It occurs to me to ask Ron what line of work he's in. "Well, Andrew," he says, in that punctiliously courteous way Americans have of employing your name as if it's an honorific, "right at the moment, I'm chief justice of the Nevada Supreme Court."

24–29 January 2011.

Four legs good, two wheels bad

I cycled 22km on Saturday with the Bomber, another nine year old, and another adult. The overwhelming majority of it was along the Wandle Trail which is a designated bike path, but - I hold my hands up - on at least a few hundred yards of it the kids cycled on the pavement.

They're not officially allowed to do this, but I heard on the radio on the way to work this morning that the Mayor and the Met are thinking of changing the rules to permit it.

This is just common sense. The fallout from a child on a bike accidentally colliding with an adult on the pavement is trivial compared to the potential consequences of an adult in a car hitting a child on a bike in the highway.

I am also - as you may imagine - in Boris J's camp when it comes to kids cycling to school.

Further - hat tip Chris - I add that all Welsh eyes should be following Cardiff's Geraint Thomas in this year's Tour de France.

You're sublime, I'm ridiculous

In 2007 I got a new Prince album with the Mail on Sunday. Yesterday I got a new Prince album with the Daily Mirror.

I listened to the first couple of tracks in the car, but when I got home I put the CD down somewhere and now I can't seem to find it again.

In the age of LastFM and Spotify, my ability even to cope with music distributed on a physical object seems to have atrophied away to nothing,

Yellow Belt

The Bomber got his fourth mon at judo on Thursday so he's now a yellow belt. At first he only thought he was going to be playing uke on someone's else's grading so it was a nice surprise when Darren tested him out as well. A marker like this every four months or so is a good way of evaluating and rewarding progress, and there are 18 mons altogether, so that will be plenty to keep him occupied while he is a junior.

We're off for a cycle this afternoon along with his mate Jonnie, and Jonnie's dad Andy as the four of us are doing the Richmond to Windsor bike ride with Bondy et al later this year.

It would be good if I could get him to comb his hair or take a shower from time to time without having to resort to threats of blood curdling violence but overall things are pretty good.

The only real mistake I've made lately is to expose him to my - admittedly very fine - Yoda and Obi-Wan Kenobi impersonations. Has lead him, this has to demand like the Jedi master I speak to his friends to my toe-curling embarrassment.

In future, my own counsel will I keep on who is to hear. A Jedi must have the deepest commitment, the most serious mind. This one a long time have I watched. All his life has he looked away... zzzzzzzzzz