Thinking out loud

We won the quiz at the Antelope in Tooting last night, which means we will have a £50 bar tab for next Monday. My brother John will be up for that.

Ben doesn't land in Heathrow on the way back from Florida until Saturday morning which means he will be too jet lagged to play rugby on Sunday morning.

That, in turn, means that I can drive back from Cardiff later than usual and I can give John a lift up to town. If the weather is OK though, I think we should try and get to SW19 in time to catch The Steve Whalley Band on the bandstand and promoted by the Apprentice at 3pm.



Thence to Corleone for dinner (Ben will come) which is open from noon until 10pm on Sundays.

Tender Loving Scare

Anyone who tells you that the TLS protocol upgrade is not causing any problems with e-commerce behind the scenes is fibbing.

Thanks for listening.

Ryan Reeves

I think that over the last year or so I have learned more from Ryan Reeves' YouTube channel than almost anything else.

Start with the Early and Medieval Church History playlist.

It is s bit more rigorous than our scripture lessons in St Illtyd's with Brother Luke.

apt to be very sporting and unpredictable

I watched the Cardiff Wolves game in the Standard last night. City lost 1-0 after squandering two penalties in extra time. Not a dry eye in the house.

I'm off to Kempton Park this afternoon if you have got any tips.

Sky Sports think Callum may get his first Chelsea start against West Ham on Sunday. If that happens I will be in the Standard again at half past four.

Let me stand next to your fire

It is pretty much exactly three years (Icons passim) since John and I met Shauna. Amazing to think that her TV series starts at half past seven next Monday on BBC One Wales. More information than you need, but I will have to catch up with it on the iPlayer after the Antelope quiz.

Lana De Ray (geddit?)

Ben with his niece in Florida

Late on parade

I am late with my slice of life today as I left at the crack of dawn to visit Warwickshire Police and then Nottinghamshire Police. I am going to need to make this trip reasonably regularly now.

I couldn't help but notice Stratford Upon Avon is in Warwickshire. Perhaps I could combine business with a visit there some time in the future, given my current Shakespeare jag and the fact I've never been.

Another piece of the jigsaw

We ain't got no history

Trailing 3-1 and badly in need of offensive firepower against Tottenham on Sunday, in the 88th minute Antonio Conte brought on... 17 year-old Callum Hudson-Odoi.

Conte confirmed to Sky Italia that Pedro picked up an injury in Friday's training session, hence his absence yesterday. I'm also told Hudson-Odoi was included on the bench despite a minor heel problem #cfc

— Liam Twomey (@liam_twomey) April 2, 2018

As this gets more commonplace, we need to keep reminding ourselves how remarkable it is.

500

Eight years and seven months since the first time, I did my 500th yoga class yesterday.

Moby Dick - Rehearsed

Kevin G's parents were among the party at yesterday's Hamlet matinee. Over a spot of lunch before the event, Kev's dad told us he had seen Orson Welles on stage in Moby Dick in the 50s.

"Was he playing the whale?" I deadpanned.

No such luck we were told. Welles was Ahab. Kenneth Williams was in it as well, and it was performed with little in the way of props on a bare stage. "They mimed harpooning the whale in the orchestra pit."

At this stage, quite frankly I was beginning to suspect that Godding pere had lost the plot.

Not at all. See https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Moby_Dick%E2%80%94Rehearsed.

The original cast included Welles, Christopher Lee, Kenneth Williams, Joan Plowright, Patrick McGoohan, Gordon Jackson, Peter Sallis! Let's just savour that.

An ingenious idea is employed to accommodate the sweep of this classic story on the stage. A Shakespearean company puts down their rehearsal sides of Lear and curiously take up those of a new play entitled Moby Dick.

King Lear! As our own tragedians are off to do it in New York. "The wheel is come full circle, I am here."

Bare ruined choirs, where late the sweet birds sang.

We are off to the matinee of Paapa's Hamlet today. Visit two, but he tipped us the wink on a special RSC discount code.

Steve, who has got a degree in theology is coming. Here is how I intend to disconcert him.

Hamlet arrives from Wittenberg, where Luther nailed his 95 theses to the cathedral door, to find the ghost of his father in purgatory.

Article XXII of the Thirty-Nine Articles of the Anglican church (already established when Hamlet was written) states that "The Romish Doctrine concerning Purgatory . . . is a fond thing, vainly invented, and grounded upon no warranty of Scripture, but rather repugnant to the Word of God." Prayers for the departed were deleted from the 1552 Book of Common Prayer because they suggested a doctrine of purgatory.

Discuss.

I am a very foolish fond old man

Ben's in the air at the moment, flying to New York on his way to Florida.

I found out this morning that Paapa's off to the Big Apple on Monday as well.Gregory Doran’s critically-acclaimed production of King Lear travels to New York with Antony Sher reprising the title role and Mr Essiedu as Edmund; Brooklyn Academy of Music from 7th to the 29th of April.

After that (as we know) he is returning to Hamlet in Washington DC. How on earth he imagines he is going to have any chance of getting in our Monday night pub quiz team in Tooting at this rate I have no idea.

Actually, quite a few of the Hamlet cast seem to be in Lear as well, including Mimi Ndiweni and Clarence Smith, both of whom I particularly admired at Hackney last week.

Vote early and often

Lupesoliai La'auli

WBA 'super' and IBF champion Joshua insisted the smart money should be put on him to defeat Parker by knockout, but the Kiwi had a simple message to anyone who is betting on the fight.

Parker said: "Bet on him? Bet on me, and make some money."

I have managed to get a few quid on Parker to win at 6-1. Interesting to note that the odds on him winning have shortened since last time I looked.

The next chapter

TheFA

England U18s ended a successful week by making it three wins from three games with a 2-1 victory over Belarus.

Neil Dewsnip’s side had previously seen off opposition from Qatar and Argentina in their first two games before returning to St. George’s Park for Monday evening's match.

And Ian Poveda-Ocampo of Manchester City completed an impressive week with his third goal in three games to put England ahead after 11 minutes, having previously struck against both Qatar and Argentina.

Belarus kept the Young Lions at bay until after the break, when Chelsea's Callum Hudson-Odoi doubled the advantage after 55 minutes.

The visitors made it an interesting end to the game when substitute Kirylenka Kiryl made it 2-1 in the 71st minute, but they couldn’t find an equaliser leaving Dewsnip and his players with plenty to be proud of after their week's work.

A goal for Callum at England U18 level after winning the World Cup with the U17s previously.

London's Lost Railways 8 - Tooting, Merton and Wimbledon

This kind of thing is my bag, baby.

Time Team 2002

Abbey Mills 16 years ago.

Now that was a good night, sweet prince

Off to the Hackney Empire last night (I've never been there before) to see Paapa's RSC Hamlet. It is great. He is great. Practically everyone is great to be honest but let's have a particular shout out for Mimi Ndiweni's Ophelia and Clarence Smith as Claudius. The production is going to the Kennedy Center in Washington DC next.

Black Panther is still setting box office records over in the States, so I think a Hamlet in which Elsinore is in a modern African county is going to be plugged right into the zeitgeist; I wouldn't be surprised by rave reviews and press and telly opinion piece ubiquity.

Hamlet

Black Panther

China 0 - Wales 6

BBC

Ryan Giggs started his reign as Wales manager in spectacular style with Gareth Bale scoring a hat-trick in a 6-0 thrashing of China to become the nation's leading goalscorer.

How many times in my life are Wales gonna score 6? I think I was in my teens before they scored six in total. I though they were called "Wales nil" until I was in secondary school.

To share is precious, pure and fair

I went, as usual on a Thursday, to Bikram Yoga at half past six this morning. I am a big fan of it as a physical discipline, but regularly find I could do with a bit less of the cod-spirituality that often sneaks in to the dialogue. So when Shona, the instructor, asked me for a yoga-talk quote she could use for uplift I challenged her to sneak

We’re all sensitive people with so much to give

Since we got to be, let’s live

from Let's Get it On by Marvin Gaye into the mix.

Game girl that she is she encouraged us with it in Dandayamana-Bibhaktapada-Janushirasana while keeping a straight face. For myself I nearly fell out of the pose laughing.

List: Church Fathers or Pokémon

The Church Fathers, Early Church Fathers, Christian Fathers, or Fathers of the Church are ancient and generally influential Christian theologians.

Pokémon are creatures of all shapes and sizes who live in the wild or alongside humans in video games. For the most part, Pokémon do not speak except to utter their names. (Would that more theologians had done the same.)

1. Polycarp
2. Magikarp
3. Aphrahat
4. Abomasnow
5. Tertullian
6. Archeops
7. Irenaeus
8. Magmortar

1, 3, 5, 7: Church Fathers
2, 4, 6, 8: Pokémon

Time spent on Historia Ecclesiastica is never wasted.

how infinite in faculties

We won the quiz last night, so after yesterday's stumble all is well with the world once more.

Oops

I forgot to write anything today. It's not like me. This is just a stop gap from my phone.

the humble chickpea

I have decided to read Robert Harris' Imperium next. It is the first novel in his trilogy about Cicero.

From wikipedia:

Cicero's cognomen, or personal surname, comes from the Latin for chickpea, cicer. Plutarch explains that the name was originally given to one of Cicero's ancestors who had a cleft in the tip of his nose resembling a chickpea. However, it is more likely that Cicero's ancestors prospered through the cultivation and sale of chickpeas.

Never mind "the influence of Cicero upon the history of European literature and ideas greatly exceeds that of any other prose writer in any language," it is stuff along the lines of:

The famous family names of Fabius, Lentulus, and Piso come from the Latin names of beans, lentils, and peas, respectively. Plutarch writes that Cicero was urged to change this deprecatory name when he entered politics, but refused, saying that he would make Cicero more glorious than Scaurus ("Swollen-ankled") and Catulus ("Puppy")

that floats my boat.

That's entertainment, that's entertainment

I will definitely have a basin full of this Thursday week. It seems so wonderfully unlikely.

Uncle Simon is your brother?!

Five Latest Angelina Jolie Stories That Are Fake News

3. This week, NW claimed Jolie was developing a romance with a 20-something “boy toy.” The publication identified the purported beau as Oscar Crane, who worked on both By The Sea and First They Killed My Daughter. That professional relationship had now “progressed to a much more personal level,” the tabloid alleged, suggesting a “romance could soon be [in] the cards.” But the tabloid showed it was clueless by featuring a picture not of Oscar, but his brother Oliver. The siblings, along with their father, are longtime family friends of Jolie, Gossip Cop learned. That was just part of key information that was missing from the error-filled article. Jolie has a working relationship and family-focused friendship with the Cranes, not one that has anything to do with her love life.

Ollie - Oscar and Oliver's aunt - told me about this last night. Eleven and a half years on from "you mean Uncle Simon is your brother?!" A gift that keeps on giving.

Sky Now and Then

I've had my Sky TV Box for nearly four years now (see Icons passim). It doesn't get a lot of use these days, but I have discovered that you can also get Sky Box office on it. (You need to download an app.)

I am pretty much certain you couldn't do that last time I looked, and it does mean that I can watch the Anthony Joshua - Joseph Parker fight on March 31 if I pony up £19.95 (https://www.nowtv.com/sky-sports-box-office).

I may well do that as I am rather tempted by a wager on Parker if I can get 6 to 1 odds. That's an extraordinary figure for a two horse race.

When Particle Size Matters

The Bomber is doing his work experience next week at a company in the industrial park just around the corner.

Endecotts are the world's leading manufacturer of quality laboratory test sieves, sieve shakers, and related laboratory equipment.

Our sample analysis equipment is used by laboratories in all four corners of the world. Endecotts was founded in 1936 and has over 80 years established an enviable reputation for quality and accuracy.

Endecotts test sieves are available in a wide range of sizes to meet every national and international standard and virtually every specification.

Whether it is agriculture, engineering, mining, pharmaceuticals or some other critical area where accurate analysis is vital, our customers know they can rely on the name Endecotts.

With agents and distributors in over 80 countries worldwide and on every continent we can quickly supply a wide range of high quality, sample analysis to our customers around the globe.

It does my heart good to hear about an independent company manufacturing locally and exporting round the world. Journalists drone on and on about German SME engineering success but never breathe a word about it happening in my back yard.

Tickets for The York Realist are very limited

I switched radio 2 on in the car on Saturday on my way to Sainsburys and heard someone (Ben Batt perhaps) promoting a Donmar Warehouse production of The York Realist on the Graham Norton show. It is practically sold out but - Peter Gill completist that I am- I managed to get a ticket for last night.

Professor Yaffle Chuckabutty, Operatic Tenor and Sausage Knotter

Tatty-bye, everybody, tatty-bye!

I may not have enjoyed every moment of British seaside holidays when I was a kid, but I did get to see Ken Dodd at an end-of the-pier show somewhere or other. He was quite, quite brilliant.

ESPAGNOLETTE

The handle store

When selecting an espag window handle you will need to know the measurement of the spindle length - this is the length of exposed spindle that leaves the back of the handle and goes inside the window. It can be anything from 10mm upto 55mm. A common mistake is to measure the entire spindle length of a handle in its broken state and this will be too long as you only need the length that is exposed when the handle is together in its unbroken state. Espag handles typically break around the spindle pivoting area of the handle as this is the weakest point. When replacing a handle it will usually be be for this reason so look out for poorly riveted or sub-standard manufacturing.

I am back from Mum and Dad's with another job on my list (downstairs toilet). The trick will be to work out the spindle length as it is broken off. Also noticed that the outdoor night light with motion detection isn't working and the sitting room dimmer switch is sticking.

On the road and in a rush

I belong to the blank generation, and I can take it or leave it each time. I belong to the generation, but I can take it or leave it each time

Repeat and fade. There is an invisible tag joke above trivia fans.

57 Varieties

Yanis Varoufakis is speaking at the Rose Theatre later this month. I may try and get along as I was impressed by his book "And the Weak Suffer What They Must?: Europe, Austerity and the Threat to Global Stability" which I read last year.

With the Kingston's Rose Theatre at one end the route, Streatham's Hideaway jazz club at the other, and a stop at the bottom of my street I could lead a full life just taking the 57 bus hither and yon.

Darn Tooting

For those living near #Tooting or #TootingBroadway Tube station, the high street is flooded, so you may face delays this morning @TfL #southlondon pic.twitter.com/PVTWx3o5rc

— hashtag_alex (@byc_london) March 7, 2018

I didn't have a clue about this and I only live a short walk down the A24 in the 'Wood.

bounded in a nutshell

Paapa's Hamlet reached the Hackney Empire last night. We are going on March 23rd.

swipe left

We came second in the Antelope quiz last night, beaten by a single point but still the proud recipients of a £25 bar voucher for next week.

In the picture round I guessed that Tinder's pink and orange flame logo belonged to British Gas's Hive, the app I use to run my central heating and hot water; hilarity ensued.

Empirical evidence that I have reached the stage in my life where nice and cozy out ranks hook up culture.

Where are my slippers? Wake up, boiler!

Things to do in London this weekend

A rare sight of a frozen Roath Park. Credit: Liam Ellis

I think it was probably a good idea for me to postpone my trip to Cardiff on Friday.

The dog ate my homework

I am sorry I am late. When I picked my coat up from the back of a dining room chair the high E string on a nearby guitar had managed to inveigle its way inside the slider of the front zip.

I don't think this can be explained without resorting to quantum entanglement. Classical mechanics aren't up to the job.

I tried to ease guitar and jacket apart for a while, but finally gave up and cut the string with some scissors. Until I get a replacement I will probably retune to G-D-G-B-D and entertain the neighbours with covers of The Rolling Stones' "Honky Tonk Women", "Brown Sugar" and "Start Me Up"

You know why? Because you’re afraid of the NRA.

When Kevin showed me this video on his phone I just assumed it would be because Trump embarrassed himself. In fact it is nothing of the sort. Maybe his bull-in-a-china-shop persona will give him the cojones to do something about the USA's gun madness. Wouldn't that be a turn up for the books?

Wake Up Boiler!

I have cancelled my trip to Avon and Somerset Police today - and thence to Cardiff - in light of the weather warnings precipitated by the collision of Storm Emma and the Beast from the East. Thus I am in the office. The friggin' heating is off again; brass monkeys mate. Plumbers are on premises and we await developments.

I will be in the Standard tonight where people will be talking like this.

Ugly Delicious

The New Yorker

What makes “Ugly Delicious” compelling, ultimately, is Chang’s commitment to rejecting purity and piety within food culture. “I view authenticity like a totalitarian state,” Chang declares, in the show’s first episode, adding, “It’s not that I hate authenticity, it’s that I hate that people want this singular thing that is authentic.” In food culture, particularly American food culture, the concept of authenticity is wielded like a hammer: This pizza, made with San Marzano tomatoes and mozzarella di bufala and a yeast-risen dough, blistered in an ultra-hot wood-fired oven for less than a minute, is authentic; that pizza, ordered on the Domino’s Pizza Now™ mobile app, dressed with toppings that arrive at a franchise location pre-sliced in a vacuum-sealed bag, passed through an industrial conveyor-belt oven, is not. The problem with such rigid categorizations, according to “Ugly Delicious,” is, for one thing, creative stagnation. Chang, after all, made his career on an exuberant disregard for convention. His restaurants—with their Japanese names, Taiwanese pork buns, Korean rice cakes, Continental flourishes, and intellectual-bro Americana twists—remix and subvert everything from ancient culinary traditions to standard restaurant-service expectations.

The fridge and larder yesterday were quite frankly not at their brightest and best. But then a forlorn supermarket coriander plant, pate bought from Chadwick's on Saturday, a stray roast chicken thigh, wilting chilli, plus sad carrots and my brother's pickling brine screamed banh mi at me.

A Co-Op baguette later Franco-Vietnamese fusion life was good and I settled down to binge watch this fine new Netflix series nodding with approval: Eat it all let God sort 'em out.

Kit and caboodle

Amazon Echo owners in the UK can now use Alexa to control Fire TVs. I tried this last night downstairs and it worked pretty well. I may set a monitor up in the bedroom with my first generation Fire TV stick and hook that in to the bedside Echo dot.

Also my GT-5 guitar effects pedal has got a HEADPHONES Jack (Stereo Mini Type) output. I may dig up the old Beats Pill and run it though that for the time being.

Now you know two things I may do. Lucky old you.

The Beast from the East

Grauniard

Heavy snow and freezing conditions are expected along the east coast of the UK and south-east England, causing disruption on the roads, railways and in the air, as the “beast from the east” envelops the British Isles.

Meanwhile at Coraider central there is no water supply to the office and hence no heating from the building's boiler. Wake Up Boilers! Christmas has come later. (In-joke.)

New to Tooting

John and I walked up to Tooting on Saturday. I hadn't been there for a while; joint was jumpin'.

All Out!!

Old Ruts Colts went out against London Irish in the semi-final of the Cup yesterday, then Arsenal got blown away by Manchester City in the League Cup Final.

I have had better afternoons to be honest.

Like a GT5, like a GT5

I bought one of these at auction. Here manual. Thanks the Lord you don't live next door.

Oxfam: ‘Your Donation Will Help Us Protect Impoverished Girls From Our Employees’

OXFORD, ENGLAND

International nongovernmental organization Oxfam announced a new pledge campaign Thursday requesting help in their effort to protect impoverished girls from sexual predation at the hands of Oxfam employees. “Your donation can make a difference in the lives of girls in countries suffering from the effects of war, natural disasters, economic exploitation, or the unwanted sexual advances of our aid workers,” Oxfam executive director Winnie Byanyima said in a statement encouraging potential donors to sponsor a girl directly to ensure her continuing safety. “Our work in some of the world’s poorest, most harassed regions would not be possible without the generosity of people like you. Your donation can bring hope to girls suffering at the hands of our most debauched staff members.” Byanyima added that more than anything else, Oxfam was seeking committed, enthusiastic volunteers to help them combat further injustices.

Back in 2010 (Icons passim) I helped out, at the behest of the Royal Household with the Disaster Emergency Committee when it was working on the Haiti earthquake. I was really impressed with the people and the processes. Oxfam is a member of DEC and I am staggered by the revelations of what was going on.

Cat On A Hot Tin Roof

I am off to see NT Live: Cat On A Hot Tin Roof at the Odeon tonight. A Streetcar Named Desire; same author, same director and same venue, was the first NT live presentation I ever went to in the movies back in 2014 (see Icons passim).



Running time 193 minutes: Crikey!

Get high, get lit, get drunk, get wavey, get wavey

Today I will mostly be listening to Wavey by CLiQ ft. Alika.

I realise it is unlikely and, frankly I don't think anyone is more surprised than I am. Tune popped up on the radio as I was driving home and earwormed its way into my life.

Hi Dad - I'm in Jail

Was (Not Was); accept no dubstitute. "What Up Dog?" is one of my favourite albums of all time.

The Glamorous Life IV

I am back from a day at the National Police Chiefs' Council.

The Glamorous Life III

I am back from Northamptonshire with an Adam Black Libra Guitar. More information perhaps than you needed but some people asked,

The Glamorous Life II

Hello, is that reception? Susan? Oh, hi. Can you make pornography come on my telly please? Oh, that’s very nice of you.

I have woken in the Mansfield Travelodge.  I am Alan Partridge.

The Glamorous Life

There is a new Co-op at the bottom of the road. It opened yesterday in what used to be GJ's. I bought an onion and some stock cubes there last night.

This afternoon I am going to Mansfield.

Dying by inches every night—

What a glamorous life!

Pulled on by winches to recite—

What a glamorous life!

The Fall of Man

Seven weeks into 2018, there have been eight shootings at US schools that have resulted in injury or death. Seventeen people have been confirmed dead in the latest shooting in Parkland, Florida, on Ash Wednesday.

Ash Wednesday is a Christian day for peace and the first day of Lent, which is six weeks of repentance before Easter. It derives its name from the placing of repentance ashes on the foreheads of participants to the dictum "Remember that you are dust, and to dust you shall return."

had we but world enough and time

Today is Ash Wednesday and Valentines' Day.

If I had more leisure I would write a bitter-sweet reflective sonnet about an apparent but illusory in the world but not of the world contradistinction. Luckily for you I am too busy and have to crack on with work and earning a living.

Laters.

Man jailed for life after stabbing teen outside nightclub

A man who stabbed a teenager to death outside a nightclub has been handed life imprisonment.

Dickson Tangu was found guilty of the murder of Daniel Namanga after he fatally stabbed the teenager late at night.

Daniel was only 19 years old when he went to Afrikiko Bar on Old Kent Road on August 8 with friends for a night out.

Daniel Namanga (Rutlish and Old Ruts); see Icons passim.

And then of course we have Kishon's tragic fall from the promise of 2013 to the pit of 2018.

The Crazy Nastyass Honey Badger

Ben is staying with me at the moment. Last night we watched YouTube videos about Honey Badgers.

The Chuck Norris of the animal kingdom. No bigger or faster animals ever give the honey badger crap. If they did, they wouldn't get the chance to regret it.

When the Tasmanian devil goes to sleep, he checks under his bed for the honey badger.

Don' tell me that wasn't a try

In my moral universe this was awarded and converted so Wales won 13-12.

Also, Ben and I have decided to go to one of the Autumn internationals in the Principality later this year, tickets and accommodation to be confirmed.

A guilty secret

I saw Sam and Shauna of the Hang Fire Southern Kitchen inside the stadium at the Wales Scotland international last weekend.

They were too far away for me to say hello, but even if they hadn't been I don't think I would have been brave enough to tell scratch-makers like them that canned smokey BBQ pulled pork has become a kitchen cupboard staple at Browne acres.

As long as you drain the gunk off, it ain't too bad at all (£1.80 from Sainsbury).

coincidence is God's way of remaining anonymous

Another day, another batshit Quincy Jones interview; my cup runneth over.

Long may it continue. He set the bar high in a recent GQ effort but this rich run of form shows no sign of petering out.

Sublime and Ridiculous

Is this supposed to be funny, @tfl? Well this humourless feminist is genuinely appalled. Incredibly short-sighted & a waste of an opportunity for celebration. #Suffragette100 #everydaysexism #collierswoodstation pic.twitter.com/Mhz2BzQfyD

— Evelyn Clegg (@Evie_tweeting) February 7, 2018

Colliers Wood yesterday: "All human life is here, but the Holy Ghost seems to be somewhere else."

Aspirational

I had a ganglion cyst on the first knuckle of the middle finger of my left hand drained with a syringe at an outpatient appointment in hospital in Roehampton this morning.

Kiri

I found out last night that Paapa is featured in this, so I will try and catch up with it on http://www.channel4.com/programmes/kiri/on-demand/65215-001. 24 days left.

opioids (for pain) and benzodiazepines (for anxiety)

Neil and Caroline, who put us up over the weekend, having started their careers as pharmacists I mentioned on Saturday evening that it had emerged that Tom Petty (like Prince before him) had died of a Fentanyl overdose. This led me to recommending the book Dreamland: The True Tale of America's Opiate Epidemic to them, and to realising - when I attempted to say Oxycontin and Fentanyl - that I still read and recognise new words in my head as patterns of letters rather than sounds, so that I trip up the first time I try to utter them aloud.

Ben piped up with a reference to counterfeit Xanax bars pressed by gangs; something else to worry about.

Vice - How Xanax Became the British Teenager's Drug of Choice.

Wales 34-7 Scotland

Ben's first time in the Principality Stadium for Six Nations rugby and a satisfying win for Wales yesterday. Thanks to siblings John and Caroline for tickets and hospitality. We saw Liam Williams afterwards. He seems like a top-class, modest and self-effacing bloke.

How yesterday went

I was in analysis. I was suicidal. As a matter of fact, I would have killed myself, but I was in analysis with a strict Freudian and if you kill yourself they make you pay for the sessions you miss.

In years to come I will remember what I meant by this, but you won't have a clue.

In one era, out the other

Callum has made his Premier league debut for Chelsea now. They got beaten 3-0 and, frankly, his toilet brush haircut could be improved, but I still hug myself inside every time I think of his journey from Singlegate.

I imagine I will maintain radio silence now until the first time he starts a headline game, but I will still be following his career as closely as ever.

Shaking the Magic Money Trees

http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b09pl66b

During last year's general election, Theresa May argued there was "No magic money tree" to pay for the things some voters wanted. Although she was chided for being unsympathetic to various worthy spending claims, a more fundamental criticism could have been levelled at the Prime Minister: There is indeed a Magic Money Tree!! Since the financial crisis, no less than £435billion of new money has been created through the policy of "quantitative easing", equivalent to a fifth of Britain's annual GDP. In this programme, financial journalist Michael Robinson finds out what happened to this staggering sum of money, and evaluates its effect on the lives of us all.

With the help of expert testimony, Robinson explains how this controversial policy works, effectively creating money at the push of a button. But as he also finds out, the new funds are only indirectly injected into the wider economy, typically through big institutional investors lending to companies. Few of these transactions, it turns out, have involved the kind of 'real world' investment that might be expected to stimulate the productive economy and generate growth. Indeed, almost all of them have been within the financial sector itself, and many people argue that the returns on QE have been astonishingly small.

Moreover, the influx of cash has inflated the price of assets, and led to a relative widening of the gap between rich and poor, which now threatens to upset our economic and political order. Even QE's deliberate objective to lower interest rates has also served to make homes and shares more expensive, while those already holding such assets have seen the greatest benefit. Britain's own 'Magic Money Tree' might have saved the economy from meltdown almost a decade ago, but it seems its many side-effects might have been far less beneficial.

Kevin recommended this BBC Radio 4 show to me on the way to yoga this morning. It is a pity the BBC Alex skill is not up to playing it.

Ba-dum-tish

I went to see the dentist yesterday. She told me I have been biting my tongue. No one I met in the evening could believe it.

Goodnight folks, I'm here all week! Be sure to tip the waitress.

an aha moment

How to Build Private Alexa Skills with Alexa for Business

If you intend to publish your skill as a private skill, add the "distributionMode": "PRIVATE" line in the publishingInformation block of your skill manifest.

And so it came to pass

Final Chelsea change and it's a debut for 17-year-old Callum Hudson-Odoi, an FA Youth Cup winner with the Blues and an Under-17 World Cup winner with England. Pedro is the man to make way. #CHENEW

— Chelsea FC (@ChelseaFC) January 28, 2018

Congratulations to Callum

A throne is only a bench covered with velvet.

Our team today: Caballero; Rudiger, Christensen, Cahill (c); Zappacosta, Drinkwater, Kante, Alonso; Pedro, Batshuayi, Hazard.

Subs: Eduardo, Ampadu, Moses, Fabregas, Barkley, Musonda, Hudson-Odoi.#CHENEW pic.twitter.com/zAxo1O2HZi

— Chelsea FC (@ChelseaFC) January 28, 2018

Callum is among the subs for the Newcastle game. Will this be the day he finally gets on?

The 100 Best Articles and Essays of 2016 and 2017

A huge collection of the best nonfiction writing from 2016 and 2017 from The Electric Typewriter.

Thinking of you

If you ever think of me, I'll be thinking of you. Through thick and thin I bear it and grin, and never give in
I could be the one thing there in your hour of need. So if you decide to change your views I'm thinking of you

Terry Hall: God-like genius.

What is the point of it?

Torygraph Exclusive: Six Nations will use bonus points on permanent basis after last year's success sees trial period abandoned.

It looks like I am going to have to wrap my head around it then. Herewith the skinny from the rules page of the Six Nations site. Rule 3 is what we are interested in.

1. The NatWest 6 Nations Championship is contested each season over seven weekends during February, March and sometimes April by the international sides of France, England, Ireland, Italy, Scotland and Wales.

2. Each team plays the other five once per season with home advantage in alternate seasons (eg England hosted France in 2003, and so France host England in 2004), giving a total of 15 matches per Championship.

3. The following points will be awarded based on the results of each Match (such points to be referred to as "Match Points" to distinguish them from points scored on the field of play):

(i) The Union that wins the Match shall be awarded four Match Points or (if it scores four tries or more in the process) five Match Points. 

(ii) The Union that loses the Match shall be awarded no Match Points or (if it scores four tries or more in the process or loses by a margin of seven points or fewer) one Match Point or (if it scores four tries or more in the process and loses by a margin of seven points or fewer) two Match Points.

(iii) Unions that draw a Match shall each be awarded two Match Points and any of them that scores four tries or more in the process shall be awarded a further one Match Point.

(iv) A Union that wins all five of its Matches (a "Grand Slam") shall be awarded a further three Match Points.

4. If in winning the Championship a team also wins all of their five matches, they are given the title of 'Grand Slam' winner.

5. There is also the title of 'Triple Crown' competed for each season, which is awarded if a team from the 4 Home Unions (England, Ireland, Scotland, and Wales) beats each of the other 3 Home Unions.

A Welsh Born Iconette

Wales have named 11-year-old table tennis player Anna Hursey in their squad for the 2018 Commonwealth Games.

Hursey is believed to be the youngest person to represent Wales at any sport at senior level, or compete at a Commonwealth Games for Team Wales.

Last year, aged just 10, she became the youngest player to represent Wales' senior table tennis team in a European Championship.

I am not sure I can get my head around this: http://www.anna-hursey.com/

The book of Job

Google Maps thinks I was in Wagamama in Kingston from half past three until stumps were pulled tonight.

Let's just leave it at that shall we?

Icons passed

Ollie's mum died last night, nine years after her dad (Icons passim). It had been on the cards for a while, but it is still terrible news.

I remember that I walked her back to the taxi rank from a pub that had been booked for a party once. Out of the blue, and to break the ice, I said "tell me a wonderful story."

"By the time I was twenty I had finished working for MI6 in Singapore" she replied without missing a beat; a class act.

John Clement's funeral (Icons passim) will be on Valentine's Day. It's a way off but it's the day he met his wife. It's also Ash Wednesday this year. I've heard that on his deathbed he said, "tell Nick at least he won't have to print off any more timesheets for me to fill in." I find that inexpressibly brave and moving; another class act.

The Electric Kool-Aid Acid Test

There are going to be times when we can't wait for somebody. Now, you're either on the bus or off the bus. If you're on the bus, and you get left behind, then you'll find it again. If you're off the bus in the first place — then it won't make a damn.

I met John and Lorraine in Borough Market yesterday. They were chilling after seeing  Girl from the North Country on Friday night. They did the trip on the bus.

I'm finally convinced enough to reciprocate. Ben and I will do the same for the Wales Scotland game. Out from Victoria 4pm on Friday and back from Cardiff half past seven Saturday night,

Kryptonite to Corbynite

Grauniard

Is Corbyn friends with any Tories?

“I have a civilised relationship with a number of Tories – I discuss issues with them. Listen, David Davis and I worked very closely to try to get Shaker Aamer back into this country,” he says of an effort to get a British resident freed from Guantánamo Bay. “Indeed we went to Washington together – Andrew Mitchell, David Davis, Andy Slaughter and me – and we succeeded.”

Jeremy Corbyn gives props to David Davis for his record as a doughty supporter of civil liberties. Well done sir.

“A bit too early for coffee ... I think I’ll have Scotch.”

Peter Wyngarde, aged by the best estimates 90, has died. Can you really die if you are larger than life? Bootstrapped himself up from a Japanese internment camp (fellow inmate J.G. Ballard) to the inspiration for Austin Powers. 'Nuff respect.

Wales squad for the 2018 Six Nations

Forwards: Rob Evans (Scarlets), Wyn Jones (Scarlets), Nicky Smith (Ospreys), Scott Baldwin (Ospreys), Elliot Dee (Dragons), Ken Owens (Scarlets), Tomas Francis (Exeter Chiefs), Samson Lee (Scarlets), Dillon Lewis (Cardiff Blues), Adam Beard (Ospreys), Bradley Davies (Ospreys), Seb Davies (Cardiff Blues), Cory Hill (Dragons), Alun Wyn Jones (Ospreys, capt), James Davies (Scarlets), Taulupe Faletau (Bath), Ellis Jenkins (Cardiff Blues), Ross Moriarty (Gloucester), Josh Navidi (Cardiff Blues), Aaron Shingler (Scarlets), Justin Tipuric (Ospreys).

Backs: Aled Davies (Scarlets), Gareth Davies (Scarlets), Rhys Webb (Ospreys), Gareth Anscombe (Cardiff Blues), Dan Biggar (Ospreys), Rhys Patchell (Scarlets), Rhys Priestland (Bath), Hadleigh Parkes (Scarlets), Owen Watkin (Ospreys), Owen Williams (Gloucester), Scott Williams (Scarlets), Josh Adams (Worcester Warriors), Hallam Amos (Dragons), Alex Cuthbert (Cardiff Blues), Steff Evans (Scarlets), Leigh Halfpenny (Scarlets), George North (Northampton Saints), Liam Williams (Saracens).

Food for thought on the day that my tickets for the opener against Scotland have definitely come through.

Before the dawn

Off to the HMV Curzon to see Darkest Hour last night. I think it is a masterpiece quite frankly.

Years ago, I saw Gary Oldman filming at Paddington Station. I had gone there with my brother who was catching the train back to Cardiff. I remember him doing the same scene again and again, and thinking how supercilious he appeared, seemingly ignoring the acolytes fluttering around him between takes. Then that particular stage in the proceedings finished, a child ran up to him and he was wreathed in smiles laughing and joking with the people I thought he was scorning moments before. It dawned on me that they were probably working on continuity; making sure that his hair and costume etc. always looked the same so no discrepancies appeared when the film was being edited, and that chatting and reacting to them while they were working would only be a distraction.

"The first time you see Winston Churchill you see all his faults, and the rest of your life you spend discovering his virtues." Gary Oldman too it would appear.

With Alvaro Morata out of form, who is Callum Hudson-Odoi?

Currant Bun

Callum Hudson-Odoi’s timing could not have been better.

Less than 24 hours after Alvaro Morata drew yet another blank in Chelsea’s goalless draw with Leicester City, the young forward bagged a hat-trick as the Blues’ development team stuffed Sunderland 5-0.

The 17-year-old was on the bench as Antonio Conte’s side drew 0-0 with Norwich City in the FA Cup a fortnight ago.

But that is the closest the teenager has got to the first team this season. For now.

After the Blues were frustrated at home to the Foxes on Saturday, fans have called for Conte to give Hudson-Odoi a chance.

I know I risk droning on and on about Callum's rise and rise, but it really is astonishing.

Carillion

After I did my MBA I worked as a Corporate Development Executive at George Wimpey PLC. At that time Wimpey had three divisions; house building, construction and minerals.

In November 1995, the Board announced a that Wimpey was to transfer its construction and minerals divisions to Tarmac in return for the latter's housing division.

In July 1999, Tarmac was demerged with the Construction and Professional services arms forming Carillion plc. (The aggregates and building materials side of the business retained the Tarmac name and was bought by Anglo American shortly afterwards.)

This morning Carillion went into liquidation.

Truth be told, even twenty odd years ago Construction made more money from interest on cash than profit on projects, which meant that it was in their interests to delay paying subcontractors as long as possible. I remember thinking that this was an unsustainable business model. I hope it is not how the business was run more recently or the fall out will be catastrophic.

active service

John Clement died yesterday, taken quickly by cancer that was only diagnosed weeks ago. I once overheard him saying the greatest, most intriguing sentence ever uttered:

I would have got more compensation when I was shot but I wasn't officially on active service.

I guess I'll never hear the story now. RIP.

Words can only hurt you if you try to read them

As part of doing nothing yesterday I took a look at Zoolander on Netflix and was reminded it contained a cameo by the current POTUS.

Fom that I ricocheted to Derek Zoolander reading the Donald's authentic tweets.



I guess you're thinking I must be "like really smart" to pull that off during a day when I'm just kicking back.

The Wars of the Apathetic

Have you ever heard of 'The Wars of the Apathetic'? Or 'the persecution of the apathetic by the bone idle'?
Reginald Perrin

Which is a roundabout way of saying I have done nothing today.

Plato's Republic Book 1

Well folks, I have finished Book1 of Plato's Republic and - to be frank - thus far I am with Friedrich Nietzsche in Twilight of the Idols:

Before Socrates, argumentative conversation was repudiated in good society: it was considered bad manners, compromising. The young were warned against it. Furthermore, any presentation of one's motives was distrusted. Honest things, like honest men, do not have to explain themselves so openly. What must first be proved is worth little. Wherever authority still forms part of good bearing, where one does not give reasons but commands, the logician is a kind of buffoon: one laughs at him, one does not take him seriously. Socrates was the buffoon who got himself taken seriously: what really happened there?

We are going to have a lot of fun with this over the next few years

It's not the first time the UKIP AM has caused controversy with his comments relating to minority groups. He previously said it was possible Eastern European immigrants were responsible for the capital’s litter problems.

Milton! thou shouldst be living at this hour.

χαλεπὰ τὰ καλά

I have finally, after all these years, started to read Plato's Republic. What is it that it says? Oh yes ....

In practice people who study philosophy too long, and don’t treat it simply as part of their early education and then drop it, become, most of them, very odd birds, not to say thoroughly vicious; while even those who look the best of them are reduced by this study you praise so highly to complete uselessness as members of society.

Possibly I find myself in a bind here.

#meetoo &you?

The Golden Globes 2018: People who think they are saving the world by acting (dressing up and showing off), confront the rest of us over sins that they committed by - you'll never guess - dressing up and showing off. Only this time in black on the red carpet. Genius.

LA CASSEROLE DE BONA GOURMET

In the latest home automation developments, I have bought Round the Horne: The Complete Julian & Sandy on Audible, whence it may be summoned from Alexa, and Amazon is Introducing Cooking Capabilities in the Alexa Smart Home Skill API.

Alexa: Then there's Pandro Wildebeeste, the television producer - does all those tough, hard-hitting documentaries about life on the coal-face and steel-smelting in Sierra Leone. Lives in that little pink cottage round the corner.

Myself: He's always dropping in for Alexa's speciality.

Alexa: He likes what I do with herbs, you see.

Myself: Alexa and her herbs. She can do anything with a few herbs. It's a gift.

Alexa: Shut up.

Myself: No, it is - don't run yourself down, Al. She's always denigrating herself, Mr. Prodnose.

Alexa: Well, don't be strange, Mr. Prodnose. Sit yourself down. Now, what do you fancy?

Prodnose: Well could I have a vada at your entrees?

Myself: Oh, he's bold!

Alexa: Here's the menu.

Prodnose: Hmm. I see you've got lally of lamb on.

Alexa: Yes, lamb's nice - or there's your jugged riah. That's palare for hare. We got it from our special charcuterie.

Prodnose: Charcuterie - your butcher?

Myself: You think so? Must be the way I've had me hair done.

Ba-dum-tish. Goodnight folks, I'm here all week! Be sure to tip the waitress.

Big Game This Weekend

Weekly Search Stats

As if I wasn't paranoid enough already I got this information from LinkedIn yesterday morning:

1 : number of times your profile appeared in search results between December 26 - January 2

Where your searchers work: 10 Downing Street

What your searchers do: Business Development Specialist

Discretion is the better part of valour

I've changed my Facebook settings for the New Year. Fingers-crossed, videos and photos of my frankly appalling behaviour will now be limited to a smaller, more discerning audience.

(On reflection it turns out I needn't have been worried, but it is all grist to the mill.)

Sam and Shauna's Big Cookout

Here’s something to look forward to in the new year... our very own telly show this Spring! Big meaty cookouts with big meat-loving communities! #bigcookout

A post shared by Hang Fire® (@hangfirebbq) on Jan 1, 2018 at 11:23am PST

Less than three years on from See Icons Passim, they've gone from being a pop up to having a restaurant, book and TV show, and more power to their elbow.

A Day in the Uber Life

The seismic shift from yellow cabs to ridesharing has transformed drivers’ lives as well, but there are still the same pains in the butt

I am going to read this on the recline bike lunchtime today.

2018: Dot-com bubble II

Grauniard

Just Eat is now worth £5.6bn compared with Sainsbury’s, which has 1,400 stores and sells 90,000 items and is valued at £5.1bn.

'Nuff said.