A slow news day

A bridge in Merton has been revealed as one of the top places in the country to play Poohsticks.

The white "fairy-tale" bridge in Morden Hall Park was named by Visit England as the second best in the country to play the stick-racing game, made famous by the fictional children's book character Winnie the Pooh.

The game involves dropping sticks over a bridge and waiting to see whose stick emerges from the other side of the bridge first.

Described as a "serene oasis at the end of the Northern Line", the National Trust park's bridge was judged as the best place in London to play the game.

Thrilling eh? You should live near such a park. So what if the survey found it to be only the second best in the country. Second to what? Sheepwash Bridge in Ashford in the Water, Derbyshire. Sheepwash Bridge in Ashford? Sheepwash Bridge in Schmashford!

Beer by the River, Morden Hall Park has got this weekend. You prefer a sheep dipping bridge? Here, feel a gabardine—how can you doubt?