La Dolce Vita

"The Lord accepts all and as the Lord said: "I have come for sinners not the just,'" a Cappuccin friar at the shrine near Foggia in southern Italy, told La Repubblica

In Italy, this means "mildly contrite Silvio Berlusconi woos the church with a nod and a wink."

In England, it plays as "Church tells worshippers to give special treatment to overweight or bald people."

"Vive le difference!" say I, affecting mercurial, non-sequiturial French, but God knows no-one ever accused Anglicans of having style.