Ed Glosser: Trivial Psychic

For some reason, Christopher Walken as the mighty Ed Glosser: Trivial Psychic has just popped into my mind. Perhaps I'm a trivial psychic as well?

[ Female Employee drops her styrofoam cup while pouring some spring water. Ed Glosser picks it up for her, then accidentally grabs her hand, falling into a trance ]

Female Employee: Are you alright?

Ed Glosser: [ pause ] You have a daughter..

Female Employee: Yes?

Ed Glosser: She's at home with the housekeeper..

Female Employee: Yes?

Ed Glosser: The housekeeper just waxed the kitchen floor..

Female Employee: Yes?

Ed Glosser: Your daughter's running.. on the wet kitchen floor..

Female Employee: [ panicking ] And?

Ed Glosser: She's leaving footprints..

Female Employee: Yeah?

Ed Glosser: The housekeeper's annoyed.. she has to do that part of the floor over again..

Female Employee: Really?

Ed Glosser: It's not too late! You can call her.. and save her!

Female Employee: Um.. I have some work to do, but I'll call her later. Okay? Say, how did you get these powers, anyway?

Ed Glosser: [ looks into the camera ] I.. don't.. know..

Announcer: Ed Glosser: Trivial Psychic. During a brief power outage, Ed Glosser's tanning booth experiences a slight malfunction. Forfeiting a darker base, he instead gains the mildly impressive ability to foretell insignificant events of the immediate future. This is his story....