The Plain People of Ireland: Well there was certainly plenty of music to choose from yesterday. The BBC’s Platinum Party at the Palace: Queen, George Ezra AND Craig David! Did that not tickle your fancy?
Myself: Can't say it did.
The Plain People of Ireland: Mighty Hoopla at Brockwell Park? Three stops from Tooting to Herne Hill on the train with your 60+ Oyster Card and the job's a good 'un. Main Stage had some acts-of-the-moment — Self Esteem and Jessie Ware among them — as well as some more established favourites, including Kate Nash, Macy Gray, Katy B and headliners Sugababes. Eighties star Kim Wilde topped the bill on House of Love, and the Pleasure Palace was a drag extravaganza, with appearances from Blu Hydrangea, The Vivienne (doing a Cher tribute, no less), and Tia Kofi teaming up with electropop act Little Boots.
Myself: Not really feeling it. I'd already been to the Brockwell Park with my brother Vince and his wife Michele to see Madness on Friday. Also I was concerned that the LGBTQIA+ community might be under represented on Saturday's line up.
The Plain People of Ireland: Say no more. Everyone’s favourite drumming weatherman Owain Wyn Evans at the Cardiff Castle Jubilee Celebration Concert? You'll have been in the audience there with your dear personal friends the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge in the city where you were born.
The Plain People of Ireland (inspired): Noel Gallagher's High Flying Birds with your other brother John at Margam Park!
Myself: Nay nay thrice nay.
The Plain People of Ireland (as a horrible realisation dawns): Surely not the Karaoke & Disco gig at The Royal Standard down the High Street?
Myself: Correct! A day without a Val Doonican song is a day without sun.
Entire Company: Now Delaney had a donkey that everyone admired, Temporarily lazy and permanently tired, A leg at every corner balancing his head, And a tail to let you know which end he wanted to be fed.
Riley slyly said, "We've underrated it, why not train it?" Then they took a rag, They rubbed it, scrubbed it, they oiled and embrocated it, Got it at the post and when the starter dropped the flag ......