matcha lattes dusted with Moon Juice and laced with collagen and pearl

Jackfruit are extremely large compound fruit made of numerous yellow 'bulbs' of flesh contained in a hard, knobbly exterior, with each bulb containing a seed.

The English language, while handy enough a tool for Shakespeare, Milton and going down the newsagents to get a Daily Mirror and a pint of milk, occasionally needs punching up.

I have therefore decided (as a public service) to redefine the word jackfruit. Previously, and tediously, a species of tree in the fig, mulberry, and breadfruit family that eclipsed the gaiety of nations and impoverished the public stock of harmless pleasure by its very existence, it is henceforth a sexual practice so disturbing that what you are imagining is worse than I could ever imagine.

There ought to be a law against it.