Wednesday, June 12, 2019

Any um-ber-rellas, any um-ber-rellas to mend today?

The Unbreakable® Umbrella works just as well as a walking stick or cane but does not make you look funny or feel awkward. Whacks just as strong as a steel pipe but it weighs only 1 lb. and 9 oz. (710 g). And yes, this umbrella resists the wind and will keep you dry in rain just like the best umbrella should. 
I wrote about this remarkable device as long ago as 2010 (Icons passim), but it was not until last June that Funes the Memorious (my brother John) bought me one - to my surprise and delight - for my birthday.

This week I can confirm (after carrying it with me as a month's worth of rain fell in a few hours) that - for all that it is also weaponized -  it is the best and most robust umbrella ever keeping-you-dry-for-the-purposes-of.

I tried balancing on it between two stools (as illustrated on in the Standard as a tribute, but that was kyboshed by the bar staff because "fell off umbrella" would not have seemed credible in an insurance claim or Health and Safety statement.

I am a unique and special snowflake who must not be put in harm's way.

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