Second Test

Good morning, we are off to the Ruts this morning for more of the above fingers crossed.

Frankie is having a party in the evening so I had better take it easy after the Test and before that knees-up or things could get a bit messy. Gardening or kipping is probably the best bet for the afternoon.

Looking at the TV schedules however, there is a potential segue from the Lions to Holiday on the Buses on ITV at 1.20pm.

The third movie culled from the hit TV series is one of the worst films you'll see this or any other year. Having been sacked from the bus depot, Stan and Jack fetch up at a holiday camp in Wales, where (surprise, surprise) their boss turns out to be old Blakey himself. The film's only achievement is the sheer amount of smutty sniggering it manages to cram into 85 minutes. All the regulars join Reg Varney on board, but only guest players Arthur Mullard and Queenie Watts make any impression. Absolutely abysmal.

That sounds like catnip for me. Watching it on licensed premises - full of beer for breakfast and feeling a bit buzzed - could be a recipe for a complete disaster. I must vow to away to my home pronto when the final whistle blows.

Prodnose: I hate you Butler.