Ludi Cruz

Candidate Ted Cruz will participate in today's televised Republican presidential debate. When he is not doing that he likes to prepare breakfast by wrapping the muzzle of a machine gun with bacon and squeezing off a few bursts of fire to cook it.

That said he may be preferable to the pestiferous, billowing cloud of attention-grabbing antimatter we've seen in the form of Donald Trump, a flesh-contoured steam vessel piloted by a series of tiny, frightened goblins with expired real estate licenses. Hat tip, Esquire.

Wikipedia:

Cruz graduated cum laude from Princeton University with a Bachelor of Arts in Public Policy from the Woodrow Wilson School of Public and International Affairs in 1992. While at Princeton, he competed for the American Whig-Cliosophic Society's Debate Panel and won the top speaker award at both the 1992 U.S. National Debating Championship and the 1992 North American Debating Championship. In 1992, he was named U.S. National Speaker of the Year, as well as Team of the Year, with his debate partner, David Panton. Cruz and Panton represented Harvard Law School at the 1995 World Debating Championship, making it to the semi-finals, where they lost to a team from Australia. Princeton's debate team later named their annual novice championship after Cruz.

After graduating from Princeton, Cruz attended Harvard Law School, graduating magna cum laude in 1995 with a Juris Doctor degree. While at Harvard Law, he was a primary editor of the Harvard Law Review, and executive editor of the Harvard Journal of Law and Public Policy, and a founding editor of the Harvard Latino Law Review. Referring to Cruz's time as a student at Harvard Law, Professor Alan Dershowitz said, "Cruz was off-the-charts brilliant." At Harvard Law, Cruz was a John M. Olin Fellow in Law and Economics.

It does make you wonder why he feels he has to put on this "he may be a fool but he's our fool" redneck act.