Wednesday, April 16, 2008


It turns out that I wasn't the only one brooding yesterday over the the changes since the annus horribilis of 40 years ago. "Girlification is destroying all the hope we felt in 1968," sayeth Polly Toynbee in the Grauniad.
The pink disease is far worse than it was 20 years ago. "Princess on board", read the yukky signs in family cars. It's almost impossible to buy toys now that are not putridly pink branded or aggressively superhero male. Bikes, sleeping bags, lunch boxes, nothing is neutral now, everything Barbie and Bratz. Princess tiaras, fairy and ballerina dressing up, pink, pink everywhere - and it damages girls' brains.

Something has damaged her brain if you ask me. I know little girls who float into kids Thai boxing lessons in pink satin pumps, get changed and pummel their brothers and peers for an hour, then change back into their diaphanous street clothes, don their Barbie backpacks and giggle their way back home. Good for them, and why not?

This is an imaginary problem and Ms Toynbee should leave them alone. There are more important things to worry about. Down with the pseudo-sensitive and frankly wet and girly Polly, and hooray for the robust, womanly and grown up Melissa Kite.

Myself: Prodnose, I very much fear that under such provocation gender stereotypes and sexual archetypes are about to bubble up from the menagerie in my brain.

Prodnose: Contain yourself man. Too much Jung, too much Paglia, that's your problem.

Myself: It's too late! Here comes everybody.

Jerry Hall's Mother: It is simple to keep a man, you must be a maid in the living room, a cook in the kitchen and a whore in the bedroom.

Jerry Hall: I'll hire the other two and take care of the bedroom bit.

HotForWords: But vhat about the glass ceiling, dahlink?

Sir Alan Sugar: To get through that apprentice, you need to be a maid in the living room, a cook in the kitchen and a whore in the boardroom.

Katie Hopkins: You fire the other two and I'll take care of the boardroom bit ......

Prodnose: It's getting very crowded around these parts lately.

Myself (ruefully tapping forehead): You should try living in here.

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