Google won't search for Chuck Norris because it knows you don't find Chuck Norris, he finds you. (Hat tip, SimonB)
Actually, I have been delighted to find that the great man genuinely writes a weekly column here, which last year featured a wonderfully self mocking list of campaign promises he would make if running for President.
My favourite is:
Increase jobs in America by sending ninja teams to sabotage and steal them back from other countries.He'd get my vote.