Thursday, October 07, 2021

Ruination of the Nation's Urination

 There was an hour and ten minutes to kill last night at the Royal Court between curtain down on 'What If If Only,' and curtain up on 'Is God Is.'

I spent it at the bar, adding three more pints of lager to the cheeky one I had taken on board before the first play.

Is God Is runs for AN HOUR AND A HALF without an interval. By the time I got out there was pressure that needed to be relieved.

For all the gender-neutral codification of the toilets, there was still no queue at the one labelled "urinals" and an enormous queue at the one labelled ummmmm .... something-else-I didn't-notice-I-was-in-a-hurry.

Does all this argy-bargy improve the lives of anyone? How about halving the allocation of Gents and doubling the allocation of Ladies while leaving the letters above the doors alone.

That's dislodged something else from my subconscious. There's a story about Churchill and Attlee meeting in the loos in the House of Commons after the war. Churchill took his place some distance away from his old colleague and went about his business.

"That's rather stand-offish considering all we're been through," said Attlee.

"Guilty as charged," replied Winston. "It's just that I've noticed that whenever you see something large and private which is working well you always seem to want to nationalise it."

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