I am getting better. I take great solace from - of all things - something the Boss says in Springsteen on Broadway:
"We are ghosts or we are ancestors in our children's lives. We either lay our mistakes, our burdens upon them, and we haunt them, or we assist them in laying those old burdens down, and we free them from the chain of our own flawed behaviour. And as ancestors, we walk alongside of them, and we assist them in finding their own way."
My father is walking beside me not haunting me.