Burmese Python Shocked At Amount Of Stress Man Holding In His Neck

HOMESTEAD, FL—Marveling at the amount of tension his prey seemed to be carrying around with him, a 12-foot-long Burmese python was reportedly shocked Wednesday at how much stress a local man was holding in his gradually constricting neck. “Geez, it’s like one huge knot in there,” said the 300-pound reptile, also noting as it coiled itself with increasing force around the man’s torso that his shoulders were “like rocks—just giant lumps of tightness.” “He must be having a tough time at work or something. This can’t be healthy. Seriously, this is the kind of stress that gives you a heart attack at age 40.” At press time, the python expressed relief that the man seemed to have very abruptly become completely relaxed.

I went to my 400th yoga class this morning and suffered throughout with the same tight hips that I had when I started in September 2009 (Icons passim).

I sometimes wonder why I bother, even though I think the actual damage was done yesterday with Ido Portal deep squats.