I went to the private Parkside hospital in Wimbledon earlier this week to have a skin tag removed from my right lower eyelid. It's a procedure that is not available on the NHS and I rub my eyes in bewilderment at the vicissitudes of my life so often that this acrochordon (who he? ed) was becoming a significant nuisance.
Thus the old physiog is now a couple of millimetres closer to perfection, and I - oh the Hollywood glamour of it all - have my own plastic surgeon.
Try not to be offended if I decide I don't like your face and refer you to him after I have had a few drinkees of a Saturday night.