Laughin' Policeman Blues

I know a fat old policeman, he's always on our street.
I know a fat old policeman, he's always on our street.
A fat and jolly red-faced man, he really is a treat.

He's too kind for a policeman, he's never known to frown.
He's too kind for a policeman, he's never known to frown.
And everybody says he is the happiest man in town!

He laughs upon point duty, he laughs upon his beat.
He laughs upon point duty, he laughs upon his beat.
He laughs at everybody when he's walking in the street.

He never can stop laughing, he says he's never tried.
He never can stop laughing, he says he's never tried.
But once he did arrest a man and laughed until he cried!

Oh ho ho ho ho ho ho. Ha ha ha ha ha ha.
Oh ho ho ho ho ho ho. Ha ha ha ha ha ha.
Ho ho ho ho ho ho ho. Ha ha ha ha ha ha.

His jolly face is wrinkled and then he shut his eyes.
His jolly face is wrinkled and then he shut his eyes.
He opened his great big mouth. It was a wonderous size!

He said "I must arrest you!" He didn't know what for.
He said "I must arrest you!" He didn't know what for.
And then he started laughing until he cracked his fat old jaw.

Oh ho ho ho ho ho ho. Ha ha ha ha ha ha.
Oh ho ho ho ho ho ho. Ha ha ha ha ha ha.
Ho ho ho ho ho ho ho. Ha ha ha ha ha ha.

So if you chance to meet him while walking 'round the town.
So if you chance to meet him while walking 'round the town.
Shake him by his fat old hand and give him half a crown.

His eyes will beam and sparkle, he'll gurgle with delight.
His eyes will beam and sparkle, he'll gurgle with delight.
And then you'll start him laughing with all his blessed might!

Oh ho ho ho ho ho ho. Ha ha ha ha ha ha.
Oh ho ho ho ho ho ho. Ha ha ha ha ha ha.
Ho ho ho ho ho ho ho. Ha ha ha ha ha ha.

Prodnose: It's that crazy it just might work.