Wednesday, October 03, 2007

Tempted by a stovepipe

The results of the Wimbledon Bookfest Sandi Toksvig Writing Challenge (Can you write a story in prose (fiction or non-fiction), poetry or graphic form, including this sentence?“Terence had been confident of his hat selection.”) are out and I haven't won.

You can see the winners here, my entry is below and I still rather like it.
Terry Lifts the Lid

Girls’ hats come from milliners, boys’ are from a hatter
Though in the new millennium should such distinctions matter?

Terence had been confident of his hat selection
Trusting common sense to lead him in the right direction.

First he ruled out all the styles the Village People sported,
“Though I’ve got all sorts of friends both straight and gay (assorted),”

“Stetsons, safety helmets, feather head dresses, and caps,
I would rather leave to those flamboyant, Yankee chaps.”

Tempted by a stovepipe lid, subdued, he sadly said,
“Undertakers wear top hats to let you know you’re dead.”

“Gene Hackman in ‘The French Connection’ wore a pork pie hat.
It worked for him as Popeye Doyle but I would look a prat.”

“It’s obvious a crocheted tam would be a style disaster
Because you see, that truth is that I’m not a dreadlocked Rasta”.

“What I need is headgear that will keep me cool and sane,
So Sandi Toksvig’s Challenge will not overheat my brain.”

Tradition sound and British as a tin of bully beef
Guided hand to pocket and thence to his handkerchief

And in no time each corner was anointed with a knot,
Then Terry, satisfied announced, “I think I’ve hit the spot”.

Most solemnly upon his pate he laid his linen crown
He opened up his deckchair and he had a nice sit down.

Other hats were knocked into the cocked hat of rejection
Terence had been confident of his hat selection.


John said...

Outstanding. Cannot help but think how he also keeps his clips on !

Nick Browne said...

He has "twenty five hours a day".

("Any other way? No.")

chris said...

is that an euphanism for sex?

Nick Browne said...

Nah, lyrics from Viv Stanshall's "Terry keeps his clips on" which is a spritual forebear of my effort.