Thursday, July 13, 2006

Upon this Rocky

I see that there is a trailer available online for a new Rocky movie. I'm delighted - though a little disappointed that it seems to be called Rocky Balboa rather than Rocky VI.

I've got a great question for you - although the context of the post may give you a little clue.

Q. Only two artists have ever been nominated for best screenplay and best actor Oscar nominations in the same year for the same film. Who are these unlikely twins and what were the films?
A. Orson Welles for 'Citizen Kane' and Sylvester Stallone for 'Rocky'.

I sometimes wish that Stallone had concentrated more on screenwriting because I think that he has a natural way with a strand of colourful streetwise romanticism "I want ya out of here instamatically. I'm sick of seein' ya hang around like a freakin' spider. Go out and live, enjoy life" - that could have made him the inheritor of a great American tradition. But he didn't and he isn't. A wise man once said - I think - that 'Rocky' was a remake it was just that no one had ever made it before.

Actually I've got my own idea for the ultimate Rocky movie - let's call it Rocky XXIII because there's room for plenty more sequels before it.

It may be a plot spoiler, but I notice that Talia Shire doesn't appear in the trailer and there is a brief transient shot of Rocky at what might be a grave. Could this mean that Adrienne is dead and Rock a widower?

In that case, and considering how religious a chapel haunter and blessing hunter he was in Rocky II, I wonder if he might not join the Church.

This could give us sequels with Father Rocky, Bishop Rocky, Cardinal Rocky and then Pope Rocky.

In the ultimate showdown, in the Last Days (the Rapture even), Pope Rocky comes out of retirement to fight Beelzibub on Mount Sinai for the souls of the fallen.

That's my pitch at least.

Call me. Let's do lunch.
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