Alan Latchley

Myself: I love football. Football is, is, she's a cruel mistress. She's, she's more than a mistress. She's a wife, she's a mother, she's a daughter, she's an errant child. She's a… she's a… she can make you laugh, she make you cry. She can bring tears me eyes. She can bring blood to me shoulders. She can bring -

Prodnose: Yes, bring the kettle to the boil.

Myself: She can bring the kettle to the boil. 'Cause football is about nothing, unless it's about something and what it is about -

Prodnose: Yes, yes.

Myself: ....... is football.

I turned down a ticket to see Wilko Johnson in the Albert Hall last night to stay at home with a £6.99 Sky Sports pass and watch Cardiff City's clash with Leeds. A 3-1 win had us leapfrog them to top the table. With any luck Wolves won't get any change out of Sheffield United tonight, cementing the Bluebirds at the summit.

In other developments yesterday, Callum was confirmed in the England squad for the U17 World Cup in India next month. Eurosport have got the rights but the England games don't seem to be on (http://www.live-footballontv.com/live-football-on-british-eurosport.html).

Shurely shome mishtake?