Saturday, September 17, 2016

Hillarity ensues

BROOKLYN, NY—Saying the new interface will help voters learn more about the candidate and her platform, campaign sources confirmed Wednesday that, the official website of the Democratic presidential nominee, is now fully customizable, allowing visitors to change Clinton’s stance on any given issue so that it reflects their own political beliefs.
Top aides told reporters that the “Hillary Clinton on the Issues” section of the site has been revamped so that users can adjust the former secretary of state’s positions on the economy, climate change, taxes, national security, the minimum wage, gun violence, and dozens of other topics until her worldview perfectly aligns with theirs.
“Voters can simply go to the issues page, choose a subject area, and select Secretary Clinton’s personal conviction from a drop-down menu,” said campaign manager Robby Mook, who explained that in addition to selecting a specific belief from among numerous options, visitors could also use a slider tool to move the candidate’s stance on a particular issue further left or right. “Our updated site is really a great way for voters to get to know Hillary and her principles. For example, progressives will be happy to see that she strongly supports universal single-payer health care, while those who are more moderate will appreciate her steadfast belief in a free market–based approach to health care that gives citizens their choice of private insurers.”

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