Prince du sang

Accountant seeks to prove he is Princess Margaret's secret son

Robert Brown, who believes Princess Margaret hid a pregnancy in 1955, is fighting for access to documents relating to her will.

A few years ago I remember being politely but firmly delayed in reception when I turned up for a Buckingham Palace meeting, at an entrance other than the one at which I was expected, while they double checked that I wasn't the Mr Brown(e) who believes himself to be Princess Margaret's son. Light dawns in the Graniard article quoted above.

My own childhood was far more prosaic.

I was stolen by the gypsies. My parents stole me right back. Then the gypsies stole me again. This went on for some time. One minute I was in the caravan suckling the dark teat of my new mother, the next I sat at the long dining room table eating my breakfast with a silver spoon.

It was the first day of spring. One of my fathers was singing in the bathtub; the other one was painting a live sparrow the colors of a tropical bird.