Head swells; nose runs

Just a fortnight after winning it last, the bomber has come home with the Golden Boot awarded to the week's best rugby player.

I didn't take him on Sunday. "How many tries did you score?" I asked him when I picked him up from school yesterday.

"Six," he replied deadpan.

In another development, the Sunday Express has reported that "the Queen is a massive internet star." The Household must be getting good advice.

I have a stinking cold this morning, but on reflection the ledger is in balance.