One ought, every day at least, to hear a little song

Now there's a word that I don't understand
I hear it every day from my old man
It may be Cockney rhyming slang
It ain't in no school book
He says it every time that he gets mad
A regular caution is my old dad
Rub the old man up the wrong way, bet your life you'll hear him say

Goethe, Johann Wolfgang
Goethe!

When the kids are swinging on the gate
Goethe!
When the paperboy's half an hour late
Goethe!
When the pigeons are pecking at his seed
Goethe!
When the farmer (?) starts digging up his weeds (?)
Goethe!

Goethe, Johann Wolfgang
Bar stool preaching
That's the old man's game!

Now the old man was a Desert Rat
Khaki shorts and a khaki hat
How me mother could have fancied that
I just don't know
But when the enemy came in sight
They gave up without a fight
They rubbed him up the wrong way
This is what they heard him say

Goethe, Johann Wolfgang
Goethe!

When me rock and roll records wake him up
Goethe!
When the Poles knock England out of the cup
Goethe!
When the kids are banging on his door
Goethe!
When the barman won't serve him any more

Goethe, Johann Wolfgang
Bar stool preaching
He's always been the same!

(piano solo)

Goethe, Johann Wolfgang
Goethe!

When the dog's left a message on the step
Goethe!
Lester Piggott, when he lost it by a neck
Goethe!
When me brother kicks the toes out of his shoes
Goethe!
When the houseflies are flying round his food

Goethe, Johann Wolfgang
Bar stool preaching
He's always been the same!

Goethe!
Goethe!
Goethe!
Goethe!

Goethe!
When me mother says he can't go down the pub
Goethe!
Sister's boyfriend put his sister up the club
Goethe!
When the tomcats, when they're kicking up a din
Goethe!
Tottenham Hotspur couldn't get one in
Goethe!
When me mother locks him out of the flat
Goethe!
When it's raining and he can't find his hat
Goethe!
In the mornings when his motorcar won't go
Goethe!
Next-door neighbour, when he won't give him a tow
Goethe!
Goethe!
Goethe!
Goethe!