England manager Fabio Capello is reported to be disputing the length of the blades of grass on Wembley's turf with head groundsman Steve Welch.
According to the Sun, Capello wants each blade to stand no taller than 17mm compared with the 19mm that Welch is recommending. The paper also reports that the 62-year-old makes regular visits to the stadium to measure it.
In keeping with the Italian's attention to detail, an England insider told the paper: "This may sound ridiculous - but it goes to show how Fabio leaves nothing to chance.
"It is thought he is using his own ruler and does not agree with the groundsman. But of course the groundsman has to protect the field of play and obviously thinks he knows what is best for it. "You can be sure Fabio will want the grass at 17mm and you can be sure he will be checking it."
Capello is "Charlie Suet" and Steve Welch is "Dr. Strabismus" in Beachcomber's Wembley.
For myself I feel like reaching for my Uuzi 9mm ..... or is it 11?