Monday, September 17, 2018

Russell Wilson Asks Seahawks To Modify Play Where He’s Immediately Tackled By Six Players

The Onion
SEATTLE—Expressing some reservations about allowing the defense instant, unfettered access to the backfield, Russell Wilson asked the Seahawks Tuesday to modify a read-pass-option play where he’s immediately tackled by six players after receiving the snap. “I’m happy to run whatever the coaching staff draws up, but I think we can adjust this play a little so I can take more than three steps without getting pounded into the turf,” said Wilson, explaining to his coaches that perhaps one of the Seahawks’ offensive lineman could attempt to stand in the way of the oncoming pass rushers. “There is a lot to like about this play, but we could try working in some play-action or a quick slant pass before the pocket dissolves and I’m hit from three different angles. At the very least, we should only call the plays where I get sacked before I can start my progression reads a few times per game.” At press time Pete Carroll had heeded his quarterback’s advice and drawn up a new play where Wilson scrambles left and right multiple times and then throws the ball out of bounds.
Everything is going to hell in a hand basket for my beloved Seahawks. They are away at the Chicago Bears in the early hours of tomorrow morning. An important game as it gives either Spike or me bragging rights for the year.

On a brighter note, my DNA test having revealed that I am overwhelmingly descended from emigrants from Munster, I was please to see them beat the Ospreys in the Pro14 rugby on the weekend. Last year I would have been supporting Swansea.
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