Cocklecarrot presiding

The woman, who is now 48, said in her evidence today that she thought Mr Clifford was well-endowed and his penis was very large.

“I had only seen one before, I had never seen one in that proximity and that situation,” she said.

When Richard Horwell QC, defending, asked her about the issue, the woman remarked: “I have a small mouth. I do, my dentist has always said…”

This prompted laughter from the jury, which was sent out for a few minutes.

Jurors returned to be told by judge Anthony Leonard QC: “It is inevitable in a case dealing with this sort of graphic detail that members of the jury want to burst out laughing.

“I can remember a very boring court case and we - I wasn't a judge then - became helpless with laughter and the judge had tears in his eyes and it took over 25 minutes to recover.

“But we have got to remember that this is a court of law and we are dealing with serious allegations, and, in fairness to the witness, and the rest of the court, you have got to learn not to react to what's happening. Can I ask you to settle down and remember where you are?”

I know the Max Clifford trial can't go on for ever, but my goodness we should enjoy it while it lasts.

Page 93 of his biography intrigues with "after a year or so the parties mainly took place in a maisonette in Colliers Wood, Surrey, the home of Max's friend Mac McCormick". I'd love to know which maisonette exactly. I think there should be a plaque.