Saturday, June 09, 2012

Not you, fat Jesus

"Not you fat Jesus," being one of the quotes that defeated my in last week's quiz (Icons passim), I watched The Hangover via iTunes last night as gross-out-comedy homework. Hand on heart, it was actually pretty funny.

Myself: You guys might not know this, but I consider myself a bit of a loner. I tend to think of myself as a one-man wolf pack. But when my sister brought Doug home, I knew he was one of my own. And my wolf pack... it grew by one. So there... there were two of us in the wolf pack... I was alone first in the pack, and then Doug joined in later. And six months ago, when Doug introduced me to you guys, I thought, "Wait a second, could it be?" And now I know for sure, I just added two more guys to my wolf pack. Four of us wolves, running around the desert together, in Las Vegas, looking for strippers and cocaine. So tonight, I make a toast!

Prodnose: I can't stand a naked light bulb, any more than I can a rude remark or a vulgar action.

Myself: Leave me a message, or don't, but do me a favor: don't text me, it's gay.

Prodnose: Young, young man. Did anyone ever tell you you look like a young prince out of the 'Arabian Nights'?

Myself:: Would you please put some pants on? I feel weird having to ask you twice.

Prodnose: Whoever you are, I have always depended on the kindness of strangers.

Myself: Paging Dr. Faggot. Dr. Faggot!

Prodnose: Deliberate cruelty is not forgivable! It is the one unforgivable thing, in my opinion, and the one thing of which I have never, never been guilty.

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