gross anatomy

The Daily Beast is raging:

A bizarre Government-funded campaign is being launched to encourage people to exercise while they’re waiting for a bus.

According to the campaign’s organisers, those minutes spent at the bus stop watching the traffic go by could be spent more usefully – by standing on one leg, pointing your toes or clenching your buttocks.

But the latest attempt to get Britain fit has been slammed by an MP as ‘a shocking waste of taxpayers’ money’.

As a regular exerciser, diagnosed by a personal trainer 30 months ago as mildly kyphotic, let me have my tuppenny worth.

I understand that it is important to clench your buttocks (or fire your glutes as we say in the business).

A common reason for lack of glute function is tight hip flexors. Tight hip flexors are easy to get, and extremely bad for glute activation. When your hip flexors are firing, they turn off your glutes, and make it very hard to activate them, and they end up pretty weak. This is known as reciprocal inhibition. When a muscle is tight (hip flexors) and firing when it shouldn’t be, the opposite muscle, the antagonist (glutes) tends to want to turn off and not work. If you are activating your hip flexors when you shouldn’t be, this is going a long way towards your inability to get the glutes firing. Your hip flexors get really tight from sitting down for a long time.

I'm a slouching desk jockey just like you, and to cut a long story short, we need to stretch our hip flexors as well as toning our derrieres. To do that why not combine a pelvic thrust with the buttock clench?

Next time you are at the bus stop, put your hands on your hips and then - as you clench your butt cheeks - drive and jerk your pelvis forward. Relax and repeat. Relax and repeat. Wave to anyone else at the stop, or even to passers-by, and invite them to join you.

Prodnose: Will you visit anyone who takes you up on this in prison?

Myself (holier than thou): When saw I thee hungered, or athirst, or a stranger, or naked, or sick, or in prison, and did not minister unto thee?

Prodnose: I give up.