Sobbin' fit to be tied

I thinks it is entirely possible that we won't see a Broadway or West End revival of Seven Brides for Seven Brothers any time soon.

All together now!

Tell ya 'bout them sobbin' women

Who lived in the Roman days.

It seems that they all went swimmin'

While their men was off to graze.

Well, a Roman troop was ridin' by

And saw them in their "me oh my",

So they took 'em all back home to dry.

Least that's what Plutarch says.

Oh yes!

Them a woman was sobbin', sobbin', sobbin'

Fit to be tied.

Ev'ry muscle was throbbin', throbbin'

From that riotous ride.

Oh they cried and kissed and kissed and cried

All over that Roman countryside

So don't forget that when you're takin' a bride.

From that riotous ride!

They never did return their plunder

The victor gets all the loot.

They carried them home, by thunder,

To rotundas small but cute.

And you've never seens so,

They tell me, such downright domesticity.

With a Roman baby on each knee

Named "Claudius" and "Brute"

Oh yes!

Them a women was sobbin', sobbin', passin' them nights.

While the Romans was goin' out hobbin', nobbin'

Startin' up fights.

They kept occupied by sewin' lots of little old togas

For them tots and sayin' "someday women folk'll have rights."

Passin' all o' them nights.

Just sewin'!

While the Romans had fights.

"Hey listen to this"

Now when their men folk went to fetch 'em

Them women would not be fetched.

It seems them Romans ketch 'em

That their lady friends stay ketched.

Now let this be because it's true,

A lesson to the likes of you,

Treat 'em rough like them there Romans do

Or else they'll think you're tetched.

Oh yes!

Them a women was sobbin', sobbin',

Sobbin' buckets of tears

On account o' old dobbin',

Dobbin' really rattled their ears.

Oh they acted angry and annoyed

But secretly they was overjoyed

You must recall that when corralin' your streets

Oh, oh, oh, oh them poe little dears.

Oh yes

Them a women was sobbin', sobbin', sobbin' Oh yeah

Weepin' a ton Then sobbin' women

Just remember what Robin, Robin, Robin Oh yeah

Hood woulda done. Them sobbin women.

We'll be just like them three merry men

And make 'em all merry once again.

And though they'll be a sobbin' for a while

Oh yes!

We're gonna make them sobbin' women smile!