Vuvuzela

Four days into the Wold Cup, and my brain is already completely frazzled by the droning of the vuvuzela.

A vuvuzela, sometimes called a "lepatata" (its Setswana name) or a stadium horn, is a blowing horn approximately 1 m (3 ft 3 in) in length. It is commonly blown by fans at football matches in South Africa. The instrument requires some lip and lung strength to blow and emits a loud monotone (B♭). Commentators have described the sound as "annoying" and compared it with "a stampede of noisy elephants," "a deafening swarm of locusts," "a goat on the way to slaughter" and "a giant hive full of very angry bees."

The sound level of the instrument has been measured at 131 dB(A) at the opening of the horn and at 113 dB(A) two metres in front of the opening, both dangerously high levels for unprotected ears.

Perhaps - as the tone it drones is B♭- I could try drowning it out by amping up a guitar through a flanger and jamming on Purple Rain for the entire ninety minutes of any game I watch? A cure can be worse than the disease.