Hello Goodbye

Yesterday's school game was cancelled, so that is rugby football done and dusted for 2014.

Old Cats had a big reality check up at Park Rd yesterday against an accomplished Old Ruts team who attacked both at close quarters and wide out to devastating effect finding numerous holes in the home defence and exploiting them with deadly precision. Whilst a defeat like this one can be a bit chastening it should mean that we all take stock about where we are as a team and how we can improve for the rest of the season.

I got a text from Martin this morning saying that there was a report on the weekend's game on the Old Cat's website. That is the first paragraph above and you can read the rest here. Sid and Silas actually get name checked in the report, which is quite a testament to their influence on the game. I also learned that the Cats' boy Seb who went off had broken his collar bone so I wish him a speedy recovery

Old Cats topped their division last season, winning all six games. They scored 203 points in the process and conceded 60, so you can understand how the 60 the conceded to us in one match might be considered "a little bit chastening."

We are second in the league this morning, but Ruts' nemesis Warlingham are only two points behind and have a game in hand.

The Smile Revoluton

In 1787 critics of the Paris Salon were scandalised by a painting exhibited by Mme Vigée Le Brun. The subject was conventional enough: a self-portrait of the artist cradling her small daughter. The problem was that Vigée Le Brun was depicted smiling. You could even see her teeth. This was, as one critic put it, ‘an affectation which artists, connoisseurs and people of good taste are unanimous in condemning’.

The Bomber is currently rocking a fixed lower brace and a removable upper one that he has to adjust each Sunday. On our next visit in the new year, they are to be connected by rubber bands. I can't help but wonder if the unnamed Eighteenth century critic above might have had a point.

Smiles are fleeting, says Mary Beard, and hard to pin down. The perfect smile is a modern obsession. Blame the dental-industrial complex... more»

Forwards win games, backs decide by how much

I think we beat Old Caterhamians by 60 to 36 today with three tries each from Silas and Sid, along with one each from Ben, Lee and Joe of which five were converted courtesy of Sid.

The game, however was played at such a breakneck pace that it was hard to keep up; corrections may emerge.*

When Ben plays against Emmanuel School tomorrow it will be his fourth game in six days. He deserves to put his feet up over Christmas.

---

* Correction 1: As conversions are worth two points not three, it seems more likely we got ten tries. I am guessing Joe or Sid for the missing effort. Watch this space.

Sympathique

As I waited in the bar of the Gore Hotel on Monday, I heard a song, sung in French, that struck me because the first four bars bars of the chorus are exactly the same as a song I wrote years ago.

Yesterday, when I was in the dentist's waiting room with Ben before he had braces fitted on his lower jaw, I heard it again so I asked what it was. Which is how I come to present Pink Martini's Sympathique for your listening pleasure above.

In 1994 in his hometown of Portland, Oregon, Thomas Lauderdale was working in politics, thinking that one day he would run for mayor. Like other eager politicians-in-training, he went to every political fundraiser under the sun… but was dismayed to find the music at these events underwhelming, lackluster, loud and un-neighborly. Drawing inspiration from music from all over the world – crossing genres of classical, jazz and old-fashioned pop – and hoping to appeal to conservatives and liberals alike, he founded the “little orchestra” Pink Martini in 1994 to provide more beautiful and inclusive musical soundtracks for political fundraisers for causes such as civil rights, affordable housing, the environment, libraries, public broadcasting, education and parks.

One year later, Lauderdale called China Forbes, a Harvard classmate who was living in New York City, and asked her to join Pink Martini. They began to write songs together. Their first song “Sympathique” became an overnight sensation in France, was nominated for “Song of the Year” at France’s Victoires de la Musique Awards, and to this day remains a mantra (“Je ne veux pas travailler” or “I don’t want to work”) for striking French workers.

Well I never.

Their equivalent of my

You can keep the open air
Give me subway savoir fayre
is
Je ne veux pas travailler
Je ne veux pas déjeuner.

I am clearer on the meaning of the latter than the former and it is in French. That is probably not good.

In my version I was trying to write a sort of Kander and Ebb vamp. It goes Cm, Cm, Cm/B♭, Cm/B♭, A♭, A♭, G, G. So now you know.

The issue of how much of a tune a passage that largely consists of the same note played on the beat represents may also be relevant.

Keep the Track Running

As promised, here is an update on last night’s Full Council Meeting at Wandsworth Town Hall.

I mentioned in my last email that #keepthetrackrunning campaigners Councillors Leonie Cooper, Candida Jones and Fleur Anderson had succeeded on getting the future of the track onto the full council agenda, and last night ALL councillors met to vote on the future of the track.

I am pleased to say that Leonie, Candida and Fleur all made emotive speeches on the campaign’s behalf; outlining the importance of protecting the future of the track, making sure the services remain affordable to local people, and stressing the need to consult local people before the running of the track is handed over to an outside organisation.

Whilst it is frustrating that the council failed to consult the local community on their decision, I am delighted to report that last night Wandsworth Council did commit to keeping the services at the track affordable! There is no doubt about it, our campaign not only secured assurances that the track will remain open, but it put the issue of affordability on the agenda, and prevented Wandsworth Council from either selling off the track or quietly handing over the running of it without a thought to its future users.

This is a great success, and I would like to thank every one of you for signing the petition, encouraging your friends and family to do the same, and standing up for our track. Thanks also to those of you who came to the public gallery last night to see the debate. It just goes to show that if we really are stronger when we work together, and we can have an impact on the decisions that affect everyone in our community.

Going forward I will be monitoring Wandsworth Council’s tendering process very carefully to make sure the council honour their commitment, and that the track really does keep running.

I will be sure to be in touch in the New Year, to keep you updated.

In the meantime, Merry Christmas.

Best wishes,

Sadiq Khan

(@SadiqKhan)

http://www.sadiqkhan.org.uk/

Boys, our troubles are over

A curry base is the foundation of all curries. It is a blend of fried onions with a hint of garlic, ginger and tomatoes. This jar provides you with this authentic curry base by fitting all these wonderful flavours into one jar.

I stumbled on this in Tesco last night. I know how to make it from the invaluable The Curry Secret: How to Cook Real Indian Restaurant Meals at Home, but it takes an age and you have to knock up industrial quantities. A new store cupboard staple is born.

a work in progress

The U14s beat St Paul's School 45-17 yesterday with three tries from the Bomber. I thought that the plan had been to rest him for that game so that he was fresh for the Cup game for the U15s in Brighton today but apparently circumstances conspired against.

Expect to see the score for that game here some time after around four this afternoon.

No other details yet, but I see the boys went down 57-12 to Brighton this afternoon so that is the end of the cup adventure for this season. Himself will probably need Mrs. Dreyfuss' chicken soup tonight.

Come Sunday though it will be "Pick yourself up, Take a deep breath, Dust yourself off. And start all over again" away at Old Caterhamians. They were promoted to our division last year so we don't really know them.

The URL http://www.surreyrugby.com/pages/pv.asp?p=surrey436 however (while it is not linked on the Surrey Rugby website) still works and tells a tale of of played 6, won 6 , 203 points for, 60 against and five bonus points for them last season, so they are unlikely to be mugs.

Miss California

Note to self

Monday 8 December 2014 - 7:30 PM

The Royal Albert Hall will host the world premiere of The Godfather Live, a celebration of the crime classic regularly cited as one of the greatest films ever made.

Francis Ford Coppola's timeless masterpiece The Godfather, starring Marlon Brando and Al Pacino and winner of three Academy Awards, will be shown on the big screen whilst Nino Rota's immortal score is performed simultaneously by the Philharmonia Orchestra conducted by Justin Freer.

the Godfather, released in 1972 to popular and critical acclaim, tells the story of the Corleones and their rivalry with other New York crime families between 1945 and 1955, as the title character (Marlon Brando) hands over the reins of power to his youngest son (Al Pacino).

In 2008, an Empire magazine vote saw The Godfather named as the greatest film ever made, a distinction also awarded to the film by Entertainment Weekly and Metacritic. It came second in Sight & Sound's 2002 list and Time Out's 2003 readers' poll, and is currently ranked at number two in IMDb's all-time list.

"It's the Godfather Live not The Rocky Horror Picture Show, Audience Par-Tic-I-Pation Album. You know the screenplay, your Don Corleone impression is a thing of beauty and a joy forever, but - for God's sake - don't chant the dialogue along with the movie."

there is no effort without error and shortcoming

The Bomber confided after club training today that he is starting to feel the pressure ahead of Wednesday's cup game away at Brighton. "I know it is an honour to be picked for the year above," he said, "and I don't want to let them down." There is talk it seems of the fasted kid in Surrey for the age group lining up against Ben.

Nobody can be let down no matter what happens on the South coast in three days time. They have overachieved getting as far as they have. Over a thousand schools entered and they are in the last thirty two. Whitgift and Wimbledon College who consider themselves the top dogs around here both went out in the last round. Rutlish have the Sarf London bragging rights already, no matter what.

Teddy Roosevelt is trotted out for the third time in my blog.

“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.”

I'm still your oven man

I don't mind the cold and rain where I'm waiting

I'm holding on to your mem'ry as tight as I can

And silver wings are bringing you back so I can hold you

And let me know that I'm still your oven man

It being the time of year, there is a beef stew meditating in the slow cooker as I type this. The idea is that it will help to take the chill off with a minimum of poncing about when I get in later, especially if I have the presence of mind to pick up some crusty bread on the way back and to leave the butter out of the fridge.

I've often thought that the trusty crock pot might be ideal for mulling wine. Perhaps I'll pick up some whole spices from the Sri Lankan at the bottom of the road and give that a crack as well.

It's the Arts

I went to the Wimbledon BookFest Christmas Drinks in a house on Westside Common next to the Cannizaro House Hotel last night.

Walking past the Colour House Theatre on the way I saw Pete - who runs it - and Mark - of Cocktail Hour fame - outside so I sat down and had a sneaky lager with them.

All in all I felt like I was in a good place to live and where I belonged.

Speaking of local arts it seems that James Franco - as well as Stephen Sondheim but on a different night - turned up at the site-specific version of Sweeney Todd up the road at Harrington's pie shop.

He is the beanie hat and 'tache

The Moon Cannot Be Stolen

The landlord sent workmen into the offices this morning to install new lockable handles on the windows.

Apparently there is a cat burglar operating in the site.

Mick has seen him on CCTV;  a shadowy, hooded figure shimmying up drainpipes and the like.

I'm disappointed that we are not protected by a mesh of laser beams he would have to try and navigate as a contortionist, but you can't have everything.

All very exciting.

On Your Mark. Get Set. Slosh.

There’s a new competition raging among elite runners: the beer mile, in which you do four laps around a standard track, chugging a 12-ounce brew at the start of each loop. If you can do it in under five minutes—without hurling or passing out—you’re not just fast. You’re a hero. ...... read more ......

Have charity towards the world, my pet.

Mr Stephen Sondheim came to the final night of our Sweeney. It is hard to find the words...Thank you Sir, thank you x pic.twitter.com/nNd1R4tiOo
— Tooting Arts Club (@tootingartsclub) November 30, 2014

Now that is extremely cool.

Herewith the skinny on the production:

This revival of the classic Stephen Sondheim musical, courtesy of Tooting Arts Club, is extraordinary. Presented in London’s oldest pie and mash shop, a venue that can accommodate just 32 people, it feels thrillingly intimate.  ..... read on .....

bro science

I didn't manage to make it to the gym before taking the boys to rugby yesterday morning.

After I dropped them off, I took the car back home and returned on the tube. The thinking behind this was that as the B team was kicking off at 11am at the club, and the As were following them on the same pitch at half past twelve, I could have a few sneaky pints once the bar opened at noon.

This is how I came to be at Virgin Active on the recline exercise bike later in the afternoon after four pints of Guiness, demonstrating that you can do steady-state cardio after you've had more to drink than would allow you to drive safely.

This, let's be frank, is empirically derived advice that you would be less likely to get from more conventional coach.

this means Warlingham

The boys went down 36-22 to Warlingham today. It was a terrific game though, and the score flatters the oppositions who got two converted tries at the death; one from an interception of a pass from Charlie at scrum half, and then another opportunistic effort when our heads went down realising that the game was probably beyond us.

Up until then it had been nick and tuck. We got four tries - including one for the Bomber - so we'll get a bonus point and the team  will learn more from this than they did from spanking Camberley a fortnight ago.

I can't resent Warlingham. They seem like decent folk. One of their players came and put an arm around Charlie's shoulders when he was disconsolate about giving away the penultimate try. I thought that was a noble gesture.

Chris Robshaw started out at Warlingham by the way, trivia fans.

'nuff said

Wales 12 South Africa 6: Warren Gatland's men beat southern hemisphere team for first time in 23 games

There has been an awakening. Have you felt it?

If you look at the Telegraph online today you will see a report on the fifth round of the NatWest Cup nestled between Stuart Lancaster's thoughts on Sam Burgess's potential debut for Bath tonight and Warren Gatland's musings ahead of Wales' game against South Africa tomorrow.

The last two paragraphs on the NatWest cup are as follows:

At under-15 level the story of the round involved Rutlish, a comprehensive in south-west London which only started playing rugby four years ago. They managed to defeat a school with a mighty rugby pedigree in Hampton. They won 21-17, with scores from hooker Sonny-Bryant-Winning, lock Diell Zejunhlla and wing Khush Akhtar.

Liam Shanaham, head of rugby, said: "We are due to play RGS Guildford or Brighton College away in the next round, and with regards to expectations the boys have overachieved getting this far. As a state school who only train once a week with no compulsory games afternoons, so they have performed outstanding."

Regular readers will know that the Bomber played in the Rutlish game even though he is a year below in school.

Looking at the tea leaves on the Schools ruby website, Hampton School - who the boys beat in round 5 - beat RGS, Guildford 29-5 away earlier in the season, and Brighton beat Reeds School 35-21 in September but Rutlish put Reeds out of the Cup in round 2 by 42-17. There's not a lot of difference in the latter but we may dare to dream.

How we live now: part the umpteenth

The Bomber left his jacket behind in training last night, so he cooked our dinner as I drove back to the Hub to pick it up. How remarkable to think he could fry a couple of gammon steaks using a pan that didn't transmit feed back to his iPhone.

I should get him a present as a reward. How about this training gear?

Athos's new EMG shorts ($99, plus $199 for a plastic core that transmits to a free iPhone app). EMG stands for electromyography, a method of measuring the electrical signal that motor nerves send to muscle fibers to make them contract. The stronger the signal, the more muscle fibers are being recruited, and the harder the muscle is working. EMG is normally available only to elite athletes, but Athos has worked it into a pair of shorts for regular humans. Once the shorts are on and calibrated, a tiny, light-up version of your body appears on the app. As your muscles work harder, the inner and outer quads, hamstrings, and glutes on the screen change color, from blue to red.

The app can show you, in real time, how tiny imbalances in form and strength can wreak havoc across your entire muscular system—as well as how to fix them.

File under: Dr Strabismus (whom God preserve) of Utrecht.

Hugh Jampton

Rutlish Year 10 (including year 9's Ben) beat Hampton School 21-17 yesterday, making it to the last four in the region in the NatWest Cup.

They will face whoever wins when RGS, Guildford play Brighton College next. I am not sure exactly when that game is, but all the fixtures in this round should be played by the end of the week.

There is a friendly against RGS, Guildford this Saturday morning that will be very interesting if Guildford manage to turn Brighton over, though I imagine Ben will be playing in the U14 rather than U15 version of the fixture.

While we are on the subject of rugby Jack Walsh, the England 7s scrum half, is due to be taking the U14s club training session tonight having started off at the Old Ruts himself.

In the pink

I went to Virgin Active with the Bomber yesterday for the first time since he was a toddler learning to swim. He has rejoined and done his induction so he can use the gym unaccompanied now as long as I am on the premises.

They weighed and measured him as part of the assessment so at 1.83m he is now officially just over six feet tall.

He has got three rugby games again this week; the next round of the NatWest Cup today with year 10, a year 9 game on Saturday and a league game on Sunday.

I went to yoga for the 300th time this morning. A Bikram class being ninety minutes long, that is four hundred and fifty hours I have done in hot room. I shudder to think how much sweat that represents.

NutriBullet

I blew up my juicer a little while ago, so I replaced it with a NutriBullet from Argos yesterday.

The promise is that "unlike everyday juicers and blenders, the NutriBullet completely breaks down ingredients in to their most nutritious, most absorptive state!"

That is as may be, but it certainly makes it a lot easier to clean, you just rinse the cup and the blade attachment.

A pear, some blueberries and a handful of nuts went into it this morning with pleasing results.

Wales 16 New Zealand 34

A run that now stretches back 26 matches and 61 years and continues to lengthen; the psychosis runs ever deeper. Therapists in the south Wales region will be licking their lips at the prospect of some new clients after 72,000 wandered, stunned, out into the Cardiff night.

I dared to dream when we were winning with thirteen minutes left on the clock but it wasn't to be.

I-V-VI-IV

I am also reading Tunesmith: Inside the Art of Songwriting by Jimmy Webb who ought to know if anyone does.

Rod in the Ukraine

Britain is to send 10 armoured vehicles to bolster the international monitoring mission in eastern Ukraine amid renewed tensions between the pro-Russia separatist rebels in the government in Kiev.

Foreign Secretary Philip Hammond said the vehicles would enable the monitors from the Organisation for Security and Cooperation in Europe (OSCE) to operate safely in the more volatile parts of the country.

At the same time, Britain is expanding its contribution to the OSCE mission staff, with eight additional monitors arriving last week, and three more due to join them at the end of the month.

Rod sent me this link to the Indescribablyboring yesterday, so I guess he is one of the OSCE monitors.

I googled the OSCE. Here's its website.

Under Google's news tab I found Ukraine Crisis: Soldiers Open Fire on OSCE Convoy in 'Rebel Provocation'. Either the Ukrainian army or rebels pretending to be them are shooting at the monitors.

Out of the frying pan and into the line of fire goes MacKenna once again.

Jimmy Ruffin RIP

One of the greatest ever Motown singles without a doubt.

A solid start

The Old Ruts U14s are sitting pretty at the top of the league after they absolutely slaughtered Camberley on Sunday.

The result has gone down as 40-0, but the competition has a wise rule that games are stopped before they turn into an embarrassment for the losing side.

This is very encouraging as we only beat them 15-5 last year (Icons passim) and just nudged above them in the final league table as we had one more bonus point.

There was a scare early on when a boy the Bomber tackled didn't get up from the resulting ruck or maul. An ambulance was called but luckily we heard from the Camberley coach later.

" He has had x-Rays and a CT scan which have just come back as ok. The X-ray showed an area of concern hence the CT but the scanning centre and Dr were happy he is ok, if not a little sore."

Ben was a lot more worried than he let on. When we got back to watch the B team in league 5 (we didn't know what the hospital verdict was then) he just walked home lost in his thoughts. Jane told me how anxious he was in a text message.

Random local news

Coffee in the Wood was anointed as one of the top local cafés and coffee shops in London at the Time Out Love London Awards 2014 last night.

This, and Andy S having to go an see his offspring in a school play, reduced the pub quiz team to me, Raph and Spike. They are both in their twenties and don't drink  (or perhaps drink so little and rarely that there's little or no difference). This bizarrely made me start to feel like something of a lemon as the evening wore on and I got more lubricated.  Perhaps, and after the lost weekend, a dry spell is in order? Tricky during the autumn internationals though.

I have also discovered that Raph's brother Carl is in the the critically acclaimed The Scottsboro Boys which has transferred to the West End following a sold out run at the Young Vic. I should try and catch it.

This one will run and run

Daily Mail faces £3m bill after libel battle with businessman Andy Miller

• Friend of former Met chief pursued claim over six years

• Newspaper could face Ipso after supreme court defeat

See Icons passim.

The Lost Weekend: Day 2

The Lost Weekend: Day 1

Should my kid lift?

The Year 9 Bomber played the whole of the Year 10's NatWest cup tie yesterday. They came away with a very handy 43-0 win that puts them into the last eight of the 75 teams that started in their London & SE region.

This is call good, and probably doing wonders for him socially and psychologically. As I noted yesterday however three games in four days is a lot, and he wants to start going to the gym as well.

Here are a couple of articles I picked up to help me make sure everything stays on the straight and narrow.

Should my kid lift? Part 1: The science says yes

Should my kid lift? Part 2: Principles for developing fitness in children for sport and life

Advice for fourteen and fifteen year olds is "progress to more advanced resistance exercise programs, add sport-specific components, emphasize exercise techniques, increase volume," but the money quote is:

Notes: Any kind of CNs training should NOT come close to leaving a child exhausted, beat up or excessively tired and drained. If this is a regular occurrence, check in. Especially if your kid also plays a sport.

"ὁ τὸ μὲν σῶμα ὑγιής, τὴν δὲ ψυχὴν εὔπορος, τὴν δὲ φύσιν εὐπαίδευτος"

Reading a poster in Virgin Active, I have noticed that, now he is 14, the Bomber - once he has done an induction course - can go onto the gym floor unaccompanied and use everything bar the free weights. I think that last restriction is valid. There are barbell exercises that appear to consist of throwing the heaviest weight you can overhead and jumping underneath to catch it; I can imagine safer things. We have agreed I will join him up again. He used to be a member when he was learning to swim years ago.

Given that he has three rugby games in the next four days however (U15 NatWest Cup today, U14 school game Saturday and U14 Club League match Sunday) I think it can wait until later next week.

For all your key ring needs

As a rule when I bring my ever more selective audience's attention to the innovations of the Strabismuses (Strabismi?) of the world there is often (whisper it) an unworthy satirical intent.

Let's be entirely clear though, when it comes to hot sauce on my key ring (http://sriracha2go.com/), ‘tis a consummation devoutly to be wished. I could have done with it trying to work my way through the radicchio I insinuated into yesterday's lunchtime wrap, I can assure you of that.

Dukkha

The TV remote control is still missing. I have had to order a new one.

My iPad fell out of the locker in the gym and the screen is cracked.

My Microsoft Surface Pro froze on the log in screen last night.

There is something wrong with the battery in my iPhone and it completely discharges over night.

My brother can't connect his laptop to the internet over the new WiFi network in his house.

The lock on the office front door keeps sticking.

I got some radicchio in my vegetable box this week. It tastes absolutely disgusting.

Apart from that everything is fine. I wonder what surprises today has in store for me.

Keep Tooting Bec Athletics Track running

Papers belonging to the Wandsworth Conservatives were recently leaked, revealing secret discussions to close Tooting Bec Athletics Track.

Now it looks like our worst fears have been realised. Just as the leaked document suggested, Wandsworth Council have announced plans to cut funding for the Athletics Track and hand over management to an outside organisation.

The track has been, and continues to be used by people of all generations; schools, running groups, other exercise groups and many more. There are serious concerns that proposals to hand over the running of the track could see it fall into the hands of a private company, and many local people and organisations priced out of using the facilities.

Therefore, we the undersigned call on Wandsworth Council to protect the current level of services at Tooting Bec Athletics Track and ensure it remains open and affordable to all local residents.

I have signed this petition on the website of Sadiq Khan is the Member of Parliament for Tooting. I know the track well from the Bomber's adventures with the Herne Hill Harriers. It would be a calamity for the area to lose it.

Remind me again about the Legacy of the 2012 Summer Olympics. "Continuing elite success, development of more sports facilities and encouraging participation in schools sports and wider." Yes, that was it.

unluxy

Description

Luxor Smart TV Remote application can be used to control your Smart TV over your mobile devices. By using the properties of your mobile devices such as touch screen and motion sensors, Luxor SmartRemote application offers a more comfortable, convenient and improved way to control your Smart TV.

My TV remote control has disappeared. The Bomber is in the frame as far as I am concerned. There aren't any buttons on the device itself so I hope the iPhone app above can take the strain until the original reappears from the anomaly in the space and time continuum that swallowed it up. Failing that http://www.remotes4u.co.uk/LUXOR-Remote-Controls/ will have to take the strain.

Autumnal

Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone,
Prevent the dog from barking with a juicy bone,
Silence the pianos and with muffled drum
Bring out the coffin, let the mourners come.

That is if you are Welsh, or English for that matter. If you're Irish feel free to dance a jig after a famous win over South Africa.

Thirty Years' War

I was down in Cardiff yesterday to see my new nephew Oliver "Wyatt" West.

The Bomber and I will be sitting down to watch the Wales v Australia game tomorrow.

The combination of these events has given me the inspiration to dig up David Bishop's try for Wales against Australia thirty years ago.

David Bishop having been been in school with me in Cardiff in the 70s, I have mentioned this to Ben before. Here is evidence that it is not a fairy story. We will watch it before the latest kick off for luck.

At last - A Wormery that will grace your kitchen work top

Hello Nick Browne,

The Stainless Steel Indoor Wormery

When we developed the very first domestic Wormery way back in the 1980's we described it as suitable for indoor or outdoor use. This was and is strictly true and as such the description has been copied by virtually all of our subsequent copiers and competitors. Whilst what we and they said and meant is technically correct, in practical terms inside was in all probability, a shed, garage, outhouse, utility room or at best a kitchen cupboard. Nothing wrong with this at all, but now we have finally moved to the next stage. This hygienically designed Wormery, will work well, fit into and above all look somewhere between good and stunning in your kitchen!

Large enough to deal with the typical kitchen generated organic waste of a family of two or three (get two if in doubt) this new and unique Wormery is only available from Original Organics and represents the functional and aesthetic leading edge in the world or indoor Worm Composting.

Made of Stainless Steel our Indoor Wormery boasts;

• A generous 30 litre capacity with single chamber composting
• Integral drainage platform and sump
• A built in stand
• An ergonomic stainless steel tap
• A close fitting lid with long life clear rubberised plastic gasket seal
• Triple pressure clip points and side handles for easy mobility
• And a central fine mesh brass aeration vent

This Deluxe Wormery proves that style and substance can be achieved!

Starting at only £64.95, our Indoor Wormery includes everything you need to start it off and keep it going;

• 1 pack of Tiger Worms
• Coir Worm Bedding
• 1.5kg Lime Mix
• And Detailed Instructions

For only £10 more you can upgrade to the Deluxe Kit and get all of the above plus the following extras;

• 1.5kg Worm Treats
• 1 Moisture Mat
• And a Composting with Worms Book by George Pilkington

With Christmas only seven weeks away, this Indoor Wormery would make the perfect gift. It's unique, new on the Market and exclusive to Original Organics.

We expect this Wormery to be one of our Best Sellers this Christmas Season, to avoid any disappointment come the big day, order early and avoid any potential stock outs.

---

Christmas or (see Icons Passim) Valentine's Day, I can always rely on Original Organics pinging my inbox with gift idea upon gift idea that I am unlikely to find anywhere else.

How the Republicans won back the Senate?

Republican Bruce Springsteen from Funny Or Die

In which pigeons come home to roost

When I regaled the quiz team last night with my story of sitting next to Melvyn Bragg in the theatre I was instantly shot down in flames as Andy H had trumped me by sitting behind David Beckham at the Emirates over the weekend.

Later I lost the tie breaker by being beaten to the punch on a Batman question after putting the boot in to Raph for the same failure a fortnight ago.

At least I didn't have to take the long way back to avoid ebola at St George's.

Small mercies.

Here's some stupid for lunch

While it is unquestionably true that we live in a golden age of idiotic inventions (see many, many Icons passim) it is important not to underestimate the sterling work done by our forefathers.

Inventions that Didn't Change the World is a fascinating visual tour through some of the most bizarre inventions registered with the British authorities in the nineteenth century. In an era when Britain was the workshop of the world, registration of designs was quicker and cheaper than the convoluted patenting process, and all manner of bizarre curiosities were painstakingly recorded in beautiful color illustrations and well-penned explanatory text, alongside the genuinely great inventions of the period. 

This book introduces such gems as a ventilating top hat; an artificial leech; a design for an aerial machine adapted for the arctic regions; an anti-explosive alarm whistle; a tennis racket with ball-picker; and a currant-cleaning machine. Here is everything the end user could possibly require for a problem he never knew he had. 

Then, happy low, lie down.

MacKenna being between West Africa and Eastern Europe we went along to the Whyndam's theatre yesterday to plug him back into the UK's Zeitgeist with Charles III.

Guess who sat down next to me in row H of the stalls, only Melvyn Bragg, Baron Braggadocio, the Melvster, the South Bank Showstopper, for it is his time not ours he just lets us in it.

Rod was suitably impressed. Apparently they only get the lame like of Ben Affleck and Angelina Jolie at the UN in Kinshasa.

Though much is taken, much abides

I got a call from MacKenna last night met him around Leicester Square. He is in town back from the Congo with the UN, and shortly to depart for the Ukraine* with the Foreign Office.

There is more than a whiff of Universal-Exports-Pay-Attention-007-Ah-Mr-Bond-I-have-been-expecting-you about all of  this.

There is a plan to lay waste to more of Central London today. It may not be like thirty years ago for:

We are not now that strength which in old days

Moved earth and heaven, that which we are, we are,

One equal temper of heroic hearts,

Made weak by time and fate, but strong in will

To strive, to seek, to find, and not to yield.

But it'll be close.

*Six years ago, when he was staying with me, we couldn't get into a Ukrainian restaurant as the was closed for a private function. (See the WBI time machine.) Perhaps we can try it again today?

Mr Bond, they have a saying in Chicago: 'Once is happenstance. Twice is coincidence. The third time it's enemy action'.

Trapped in a Tom Waits Song

Did I dream the special offer on bourbon in Sainsbury's?

There is a saw playing in the background no matter where I go in the forest.

I fell asleep standing up in a tenement doorway.

I have a police record in an Asian port city for fighting a sailor over a dice game.

It is after 2 AM and I am washing dishes in a dance hall.

It is my belief that the only good things in this world are alcohol and a lady that I knew but briefly, and only as Tallulah.

In my opinion there is nothing wrong with storing your money, your gun, and your tragic love letters in the same shoe box.

One of my friends is a dwarf and he has killed somebody, probably at a sleazy circus.

When I hear a church bell I just shake my head because I know that everyone is evil and we're all going to hell. A hell which I ridicule but also believe in, because I have met the devil.

When he devil appeared to me, he spoke by growling through an old megaphone.

I occasionally fantasize about opening a combination greasy spoon diner and piano bar, like Coffee in the Wood.

Olden Days

The Bomber stayed at a school friend's last night.

I wish he had told me or decided earlier, I could have rushed down the M4 and gone the see STEVE CROPPER IN THE GLOBE in Albany Road just down Penylan Hill from Mum and Dad's.

I didn't even know the Globe was a music venue. For me it will always be the flea-pit movie house legend of the late Seventies and early Eighties and always showing Easy Rider as the second feature.

When I got home I switched on the TV to find that Alan Ladd's risible 1954 The Black Knight was playing, but had to watch at least a bit of it to try and spot Castell Coch where it was filmed. That is right, 60 years ago Hollywood came to a steep hillside high above the village of Tongwynlais just north of Cardiff.

Later in the evening there was a show called Freshers on ITV: "Cameras follow the fortunes of a new batch of freshers at Swansea University in South Wales, including politics student Chloe, rugby-mad James and super-geek Michael". I couldn't watch that, the wounds of 1979 are still too raw, but the universe seems to be telling me something about getting back to South Wales.

get your fee, with Route 53

I had a couple of existing domain names transferred from another registrar to be managed by Amazon Web Services' Route 53 yesterday. It didn't offer registration until comparatively recently.

I will gradually transfer all of our, and our client's registrations over as they come up for renewal.

When it is complete I will be managing all our IT requirements with the exception of PCs, tablets and phones we own and broadband subscriptions in AWS.

Amazon Web Services was launched as a limited beta just over eight years ago.

Fishy

The Bomber is staying with me over half term so I stayed in with him last night rather than going out quizzing and watched episode 3 of Gotham. Coincidentally, the quiz tie break question last week, which Raphael failed to nail despite my mugging and miming from the sidelines, was about the character that Sean Pertwee (top right hand corner) plays.

It is good to see Erin Richards (1986 Penarth, bottom left hand corner) flying the flag for Wales, but astounding to see what appears to be my Auntie Anna (centre bottom, and I invite my family to agree) as Fish Mooney, an imposing, hotheaded and notoriously sadistic gangster boss and nightclub owner.

Now let's go, just gimme the signal

By the miracle of Windows Movie Maker and YouTube, yesterday's photos come to life.

Oh, and the Seahawks snapped snapped their two-game losing streak to beat the Carolina Panthers 13 - 9. Life is good.

That's my boy

Jane managed to take 30 pbotographs in the seconds it took the Bomber to get his solo try against Reeds Weybridge. Her fingers must work nearly as quickly as his legs.

If you click on the first one you can stop through them like an animation.

All of these things I do

Come and experience the exhilaration of recreational tree climbing!
When was the last time you climbed a tree just for fun?

The Bomber and Alex were due to go and visit Alfie over half term He is an old neighbour of Alex's whose family has moved to the country.

That jaunt has been cancelled though because "chicken mites have got into the house" (I don't know exactly what that means but it sounds unpleasant) so Ben is staying with me this week.

I wonder if they will fancy coming tree climbing with me? I'll bet you anything you like they won't now they are teenagers. There is a venue in Dorking though which is very  near a dentist in Great Bookham where himself is due to start a course of treatment soon. Perhaps I will be able to combine the two one day and present it as a fait accompli?

Between Two Ferns

Between Two Ferns with Zach Galifianakis: Brad Pitt from Zach Galifianakis

only don't connect

The Ruts' game on Sunday was actually rather an ill tempered affair, and there was much complaining from our boys at half time about punches being thrown by the opposition in tackles, mauls and rucks. A dad - who is keen on Brazilian Jiu Jitsu and rolls regularly - overheard the muttering and advised them - if they saw a punch being lined up - to pull the arm towards them. Very good advice on reflection, though getting your hips involved, transitioning to an arm bar and breaking the offending elbow would probably be an over reaction.

Maybe it is not all that theoretical at all. I found the video above about Jason Roebig, a Rickson Gracie black belt training the Gold Coast Titans in BJJ for rugby league in Australia.

"You're trending, bro."

Idly paging through the iTunes store over lunch, I saw that Jon Favreau's movie "Chef" is out. clicking around it fairly randomly I noticed a "Gift This Film" option.

Uneasy as I am with gift as a verb, I have gifted it to my brother John. If he doesn't enjoy it as much as I did, I will eat my toque.

I'll drink to that

Taste 5,000 years of brewing history as a time-traveling homebrewer rediscovers and re-creates the great beers of the past.

The Brewer’s Tale is a beer-filled journey into the past: the story of brewers gone by and one brave writer’s quest to bring them—and their ancient, forgotten beers—back to life, one taste at a time. This is the story of the world according to beer, a toast to flavors born of necessity and place—in Belgian monasteries, rundown farmhouses, and the basement nanobrewery next door. So pull up a barstool and raise a glass to 5,000 years of fermented magic.

Fueled by date-and-honey gruel, sour pediococcus-laced lambics, and all manner of beers between, William Bostwick’s rollicking quest for the drink’s origins takes him into the redwood forests of Sonoma County, to bullet-riddled South Boston brewpubs, and across the Atlantic, from Mesopotamian sands to medieval monasteries to British brewing factories. Bostwick compares notes with the Mt. Vernon historian in charge of preserving George Washington’s molasses-based home brew, and he finds the ancestor of today’s macrobrewed lagers in a nineteenth-century spy’s hollowed-out walking stick.

Wrapped around this modern reportage are deeply informed tales of history’s archetypal brewers: Babylonian temple workers, Nordic shamans, patriots, rebels, and monks. The Brewer’s Tale unfurls from the ancient goddess Ninkasi*, ruler of intoxication, to the cryptic beer hymns of the Rig Veda and down into the clove-scented treasure holds of India-bound sailing ships.

*Her father was Enki, the lord Nudimmud, and her mother was Ninti, the queen of the Abzu. She is also one of the eight children created in order to heal one of the eight wounds that Enki receives. Furthermore, she is the goddess of alcohol. She was also borne of "sparkling fresh water." She is the goddess made to "satisfy the desire" and "sate the heart."

Of course she was, of course she is.

A wondering star

I can't remember why, but John and I were talking about Lee Marvin's Wand'rin' Star on Saturday.

I vouchsafed the intelligence that Marvin was such a terrible singer that they had to record each note individually.

"Really all singing is done one note at a time," he quipped back merrily.

Oh really, O'Reilly.

reeds all about it

The boys went down 17-14 to Reeds Weybridge  in  a friendly today. I use the word friendly advisedly.  Our first try was from Ben. Sid got the other and two conversions. I think we could have edged it in another ten minutes. We certainly ran a couple of kickable penalties that would have given us a draw in the last five going for a win.

They beat us 39-15 last year and won the league undefeated, so we are improving.

#inoursights next time.

You can't handler the truth

My brother John is up for the weekend. Each of us represents both sides of the equation above. That could get messy.

21 Jump Street

[as they run out of amo, Jenko comes up with an idea he got from his chemistry class]
Jenko: You still got those shot gun shells?
Schmidt: Yeah!
[he hands Jenko the gun shells]
Jenko: Pop quiz notes. What do you get when lithium batteries react to potassium nitrate? That would be a covalent bond*, brother. That's when two atoms, they share electrons. You see, they both need what the other one has. That makes them stick together.
Schmidt: Are you saying we're covalent bonds?
Jenko: What? No! We're not atoms, dude!
[Jenko throws the alcohol bottle he put the shotgun shells in and chucks it into Domingo' limo which explodes and the blast causes Walter's limo to crash as well]

I was a spectator when Rutlish edged KCS 5-0 yesterday to get to the next round of the NatWest Cup. A solid performance from the Bomber who played the whole game on the left wing, though in truth the game was won and lost in a bruising encounter up front. He was the only year 9 boy in the starting year 10 team (there were a couple of others on the bench).

My phone buzzed when I was watching. It was an email from the school. My heart sank, such missives - if not about sport - are seldom good news, but it was praise.

I am Mr XXXX, Ben's physics teacher. I wanted to inform you that Ben's work in class today was of a very high standard and I have awarded him achievement points accordingly. I look forward to seeing more excellent work in the future.

You could have knocked me down with a feather. When I asked him about it later he explained that he had the drop on the topic in advance as he knew about covalent bonds from 21 Jump Street.



* Strictly it is an ionic bond. NJB  BSc Chemical Engineering and reigning champ at the Antelope pub quiz.

a boy or a child?

Word has reached me by carrier pigeon that my sister Caroline has been delivered of an eight pound six baby boy on the other side of the Severn bridge.

Congratulations to her and to Neil. I will try and bunk off work and get down to see the three of them next week.

pull up the drawbridge

I am very surprised to learn that Ben Flower - the Wigan forward who has been banned for six months for his attack on Lance Hohaia during Saturday's Rugby League Grand Final defeat to St Helens - was born and bred in Cardiff. The general rule there - as I recall - was to attack your opponent from behind and then kick them on the floor; squaring up to someone and restricting yourself to punches once they went down tended to be frowned upon as a rather lackadaisical approach.

In other oval ball developments, the Bomber is playing up a year tomorrow afternoon against King's College School (KCS), Wimbledon tomorrow in the third round of the NatWest Cup. According to the Schools Rugby website KCS' previous fixture was against Eton College. Very posh.

On Sunday the club has a friendly against Reeds Weybridge RFC. They battered us 39-19, running in seven tries to our three, last season so this will be a good test of progress since then.

And what if you want to take your Nobel Prize on the road with you?

Brian Schmidt: winner of the 2011 Nobel Prize in Physics

 One of the things you get when you win a Nobel Prize is, well, a Nobel Prize. It’s about that big, that thick [about the size of an Olympic medal], weighs a half a pound, and it’s made of gold.”

“When I won this, my grandma, who lives in Fargo, North Dakota, wanted to see it. I was coming around so I decided I’d bring my Nobel Prize. You would think that carrying around a Nobel Prize would be uneventful, and it was uneventful, until I tried to leave Fargo with it, and went through the X-ray machine. I could see they were puzzled. It was in my laptop bag. It’s made of gold, so it absorbs all the X-rays—it’s completely black. And they had never seen anything completely black.”

“They’re like, ‘Sir, there’s something in your bag.’

I said, ‘Yes, I think it’s this box.’

They said, ‘What’s in the box?’

I said, ‘a large gold medal,’ as one does.

So they opened it up and they said, ‘What’s it made out of?’

I said, ‘gold.’

And they’re like, ‘Uhhhh. Who gave this to you?’

‘The King of Sweden.’

‘Why did he give this to you?’

‘Because I helped discover the expansion rate of the universe was accelerating.’

At which point, they were beginning to lose their sense of humor. I explained to them it was a Nobel Prize, and their main question was, ‘Why were you in Fargo?’”

I think most of us can safely file this problem under cross that bridge when I come to it.

Dr. Strabismus (Whom God Amuse) of Utrecht

Facial recognition software is revolutionising security systems but it’s also helping a small arts club in Spain turn a larger profit.

The industry has reportedly suffered huge setbacks after the government raised the tax on theatre tickets from 8 per cent to 21 per cent.

In an entertaining video outlining its efforts, the club says immediately after the move by the authorities, audience numbers reduced by 30 per cent in one year.

They had to think of an inventive and ingenious way of counteracting this decline.

In conjunction with advertising agency The Cyranos McCann, the venue began experimenting by installing tablets on the back of audience members’ seats and recording each time they laughed.

Entrance to the club is free, but each laugh amounts to €0.30 (£0.24) – to a maximum of 80 laughs for €24 (£18).

Dr. Strabismus (Whom God Preserve) of Utrecht is carrying out research work with a view to crossing salmon with mosquitoes. He says it will mean a bite every time for fishermen.

The Imitation Game

I missed posting here yesterday as I was  - pay attention 007! - at Bletchley Park with Professor David Stupples, Director of the Centre for Cyber and Security Services.

Now having thrown you that bone, I have to run out again.

Laters.

in case you were wondering

A man who cycles around Wimbledon on an amazing technicolour bicycle is a familiar sight around the town.

It is adorned with everything from feathers to tinsel, tassels and trophies, parades a union jack flag, with a cassette player and speakers blasting out dance music.
At night it glows with disco lights.

Now the ‘golden man’ himself has revealed his motivation for taking to the streets - to make people happy.

Referring to himself as James Bond and declining to give his real name, he said he had been doing what he calls ‘the show’ for twelve years.

He said: "The petrol that keeps me going is I see so many happy people - this is the reward I get.

"I have not got a penny for it in 12 years but seeing people happy - that’s why I do it."

The self-confessed recluse, who also describes himself as an artist and inventor and sits on a golden throne at his Recency style home in a room with a giant chandeliers, often sees decorations in pound shops and adds to the bike and his jacket.

Now you know.

The Mercurotti

Impersonator Marc Martel has recorded a duet featuring two of his idols, opera star Luciano Pavarotti and Queen vocalist Freddie Mercury, taking on both roles himself in one single take.

Covering the Puccini classic 'Nessun Dorma', Martel channels both of the singing titans in one amazing video (and even tailors his facial hair accordingly).

And you can listen to it without having to endure me singing along. Not an option available to the folk in offices adjoining mine this afternoon.

All together now .......

Ma il mio mistero è chiuso in me,

il nome mio nessun saprà!

No, no, sulla tua bocca lo dirò

quando la luce splenderà!

Prepare to broaden horizons

Blimey. The Bomber appears to have got a gig in the new Agent Provocateur campaign, turning up in a black tie to shut the door about ten seconds into the clip above.

And to think he won't be old enough to watch it for another four years.

“1 Star Quiz Night”

tripadviser

Horrendously over priced (average) food. The quiz was made up of largely utterly arbitrary questions; eg. "Famous movie lines" that were more accurately described as random lines from somewhere on the script of a well known film. Staff were exceptionally rude & obnoxious throughout. I've quizzed competitively internationally & not once have I had some two bit MC tell me I'm not very good at general knowledge. I have five international champions medals that say different. All in all decent venue with loads of walk in trade has aloud a place with overpriced food and horrendous service to thrive.. people rarely do amaze me at times. Never again.

That'll be the quiz we won again last night then by acing the final film round that so perturbed last week's reviewer.

Coffee in the Wood

Coffee In The Wood from Jack Coulthard-Little on Vimeo.

Blimey, they're making films now.

oops

Sorry if I neglected you yesterday.

I collected the Bomber and his friend Jonnie after the school's rugby game (they won 97-0), then Jonnie's parents invited us the Gorringe Park at lunchtime. That session segued into the South Africa New Zealand game and after that details get hazy.

The club beat Guildford this morning. Two tries to the Bomber after three yesterday. As I am sharing I also ought to record that they also slaughtered Battersea last week. Fifty odd nil, I lost count of the precise score..

Gwlad Gwlad

I got the Bomber an iPhone 5c for his birthday. The best deal (somewhat to my surprise) seemed to be to buy it SIM free direct from Apple with a pay-as-you-go starter pack.

I was pleased to find this morning that there is an app for it that I can use to continue his indoctrination.

badassery, n.

Baddassery having made it into the OED at the end of the last year, and given their fans' behaviour prior to and during a 4-1 defeat to Arsenal last night, I think Cockney rhyming slang needs extending.

Adam and Eve – believe Alan Whickers – knickers apples and pears – stairs Artful Dodger – lodger Ascot Races – braces Aunt Joanna – piano Galatasaray – badassery Baked Bean – Queen Baker’s Dozen – Cousin

Modesty forbids

I give you the 2014 Winners of the Literary Pub Quiz #commonpeople Thanks @firestables for being such good hosts! pic.twitter.com/uCWzABicww

— Wimbledon Bookfest (@Wimbbookfest) October 1, 2014