Thursday, February 02, 2017

Burmese Python Shocked At Amount Of Stress Man Holding In His Neck

HOMESTEAD, FL—Marveling at the amount of tension his prey seemed to be carrying around with him, a 12-foot-long Burmese python was reportedly shocked Wednesday at how much stress a local man was holding in his gradually constricting neck. “Geez, it’s like one huge knot in there,” said the 300-pound reptile, also noting as it coiled itself with increasing force around the man’s torso that his shoulders were “like rocks—just giant lumps of tightness.” “He must be having a tough time at work or something. This can’t be healthy. Seriously, this is the kind of stress that gives you a heart attack at age 40.” At press time, the python expressed relief that the man seemed to have very abruptly become completely relaxed.
I went to my 400th yoga class this morning and suffered throughout with the same tight hips that I had when I started in September 2009 (Icons passim).

I sometimes wonder why I bother, even though I think the actual damage was done yesterday with Ido Portal deep squats.

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