Saturday, December 07, 2013

Simples

I'm off to the South Bank this afternoon on the tube. Living, as I do, within walking distance of the office, I don't get to use public transport often. Luckily I have found a transcript of Mayor Boris Johnson explaining how much a Zone 1 single costs if you pay with cash.
"Oh blimey… I've got the figures here. If you get a… if you get a… Yeah yeah yeah wait a minute. If you've got your Oyster card I think it's gone up to £2… £2.10 is it? Uhhh… I use the Oyster card because…. Always use your Oyster card! I'll give you… I can give you – d'you want me to recite… Where's the, where's the someone give me my… herewegoherewegoherewego here's the whole list HERE we go HEEEERE we go, okay. Right. Here we go. If you want a one-way ticket… Oh god… um… cash single. A cash single is… it is currently… in zones 1-7 it is £6.70. Can that be right? Well that's what it says here. That seems unbelievably expensive to me – that's outrageous. That cannot possibly be right. Wait wait wait… folks - who's drawn up this useless chart? *DEEP GROWLING* OH ZONE ONE HERE WE GO £4.50!"
Yes, that's Boris - some people are too stupid to get on in life - Johnson.
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