Tuesday, August 28, 2012

RULES OF THE GAME OF NUDE BILLIARDS

DEFINITIONS 
1. Game
2. Match
3. Balls
4. Stringing
5. Striker and Turn
6. Stroke
7. Pot
8. In-off
9. Hazard
10. Cannon
11. Break
12. In-hand
13. Ball in Play
14. Ball in Baulk
15. Forced off the table
16. Miss
17. Running a coup
18. Foul
19. Spot Occupied
20. Push Stroke
21. Jump shot
 THE GAME 
1. Description
2. Start of Game
3. Mode of Play
4. Scoring
5. End of Session and Game
6. Playing from In-hand
7. Ball on Baulk-line
8. Spotting Object Balls
9. Limitation of Cannons
10. Limitation of Hazards
11. Ball on Edge of Pocket
12. Ball Moved by Other than Striker
13. Touching Ball
14. Fouls
15. Action after a Foul
16. Action after a Miss
17. Four-handed Billiards
18. Use of Ancillary Equipment
19. Interpretation
Myself: Is there anything more reassuringly British than sniggering at imagined innuendos, Your Royal Highness? May I draw your attention to "Playing from In-hand" sir? "Push Stroke" and "Touching Ball" are also excellent options.

Prodnose (thinking quickly): Great and manifold were the blessings, most dread Prince, which Almighty God, the Father of all mercies, bestowed upon us the people of England, when first he sent Your Highness's Royal Person to Las Vegas. For whereas it was the expectation of many, who wished not well unto our Sion, that upon the setting of that bright Occidental Star, the Jubilee of Queen Elizabeth of most happy memory, some thick and palpable clouds of darkness would so have overshadowed this Land, that men should have been in doubt which way they were to walk; and that it should hardly be known, who was to be in a right old two-and-eight of a State; the appearance of your Highness, as the Sun in his strength, instantly dispelled those supposed and surmised mists, and gave unto all that were well affected exceeding cause of comfort; especially when we beheld the Partay established by Your Highness, and Your hopeful Seed, by an undoubted Title, and this also accompanied with peace and tranquillity at home and abroad sort of.

Finbarr Saunders: Your hopeful Seed!!! Fnarr fnarr.
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