Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Rueful Roof Full

With a geranium behind each ear and his face painted with gay cavalistic symbols, six foot eight seventeen stone police seargent Geoff Bull looked jolly convincing as he sweated and grunted through a vigorous triscutine at the Fraga Gogo Viachella.

His hot surge trousers flapped wildly over his enourmous plastic sandals as he jumped and jumped and gyrated towards a long-haired man.

"Uh, excuse me, ma'am, I have reason to believe you can turn me on." He leered suggestively.

As if by magic dozens of truncheons appeared and mercilessly thrashed him.

Poor Geoff, what a turnout for the books.


Snow melting prematurely on a roof could be a clue that the house is being used as a cannabis factory, police say.

Officers in Leicestershire are asking residents to look out for homes where roof-top snow has melted more quickly than on neighbouring buildings.

They said cannabis factories were equipped with high-level lighting, which generates a lot of heat, causing snow and ice to melt.

The force said it hoped to use the cold weather to find more factories.

Exhibit A.
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