Wednesday, October 24, 2007

You couldn't make it up

A leading novelist today welcomed the revelation from headmaster Albus Dumbledore that gay rights spokesman Peter Tatchell is fictional.

But JK Rowling said the champion of homosexual equality's "lack of corporeality" should have been made clearer in the stories about him.

Dumbledore exposed Tatchell’s apocryphal essence while teaching a class at Hogwarts.

“Peter is made up,” the Professor revealed to a response of gasps and applause.

Dumbledore then joked: “I would have told you it was a stunt as soon as I realized if I had known it would make you so happy.”

Story supporter JK Rowling said: “It’s good that children are being taught the importance of mythical characters, since they exist in every culture.

“But I am disappointed that the media have not always made Tatchell’s nature clear.

“We always new he was fabulous, honey,” she clarified. "But a fable? Sheeesh!"

Dumbledore said that his suspicions began years ago when he read an article praising Mr. Tatchell in the Daily Mail.

“I guessed I was being had, when I came across approval for the leader of the radical queer rights non-violent direct action group OutRage! in conservative Middle England's house paper. And all apparently because he had attempted a citizen’s arrest on Robert Mugabe!

“You couldn’t make it up,” he said echoing Richard Littlejohn, the fictional journalist.
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